Death Is Just a Feeling
by scarlett2112
Summary: "This life will be good and beautiful but not without heartbreak. In death comes peace, but pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive." – Elena Gilbert ***HAPPY BIRTHDAY Short on words***
1. Chapter 1

**_Happy Birthday Charlotte! It's already the 22nd where you are so that's why I'm posting it now._**

 ** _You mean the world to both Eva and myself. Eva will agree that the best part of loving DE and being a part of this fandom is the lifelong friendships we've made. Sending love across the pond. You're wise beyond your years and so very kind. We both love you dearly. We hope you'll enjoy your story._**

* * *

 ** _Death Is Just a Feeling: Part One_**

The first time he sees her she's barking information at the hospital staff as soon as they open the door of the ambulance bay. Quickly the staff, himself included push the gurney into a room. She's pumping on an older gentleman's chest who they picked up in the middle of the street, having no idea how long he was down. She's a vision. Her dark hair is tied in a ponytail but loose strands hang around her face due the exceptional force she's putting into the chest compressions as she tries valiantly to save the man's life. Her petite form is shaking with the effort.

"We'll take it from here," he means to reassure her, but realizes immediately how arrogant it must have sounded.

She makes a place for him and carefully backs off, letting him do his job. Just before he leaves trauma room one to follow after his patient, he can hear her silent but almost threatening, "Don't screw it up, doc…"

When he turns around one more time, the entrance doors are already swinging shut, obscuring her form from view. He may see her again this evening, it's early yet.

* * *

"Who is she?" he asks his brother after he happened to notice them exchanging a few words at the reception.

"Who? The paramedic? That's Elena Gilbert, we went to high school together."

Damon whistles soundlessly. " _The_ Elena Gilbert?"

"Yeah," Stefan nods. "Never met her?"

"Never been formally introduced."

"Well, if you hadn't been so busy conquering the world, finding excuses to stay away, you might have met some of my high school pals."

Was that a not so subtle dig? It's been years and Stefan still takes Damon's lengthy absence personally. He mentally rolls his eyes.

"Last week was the first time I saw her, she sweetly told me not to screw up."

"Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, brother?"

"You did indeed," Damon confirms, taking a swallow from his drink.

Stefan laughs, then becomes serious. "Yeah, that's probably a sore spot for her. You know, certainly you remember her parents. Her mother was lifeless when they pulled them out of the water, her father could have lived. She believes that if he had received proper medical care, he would have survived. They attempted CPR but they couldn't get him tubed, he was declared brain dead a couple days after the accident."

Damon nods understandingly, his mind drifting backwards in time, trying to remember what he knew about the Gilberts. There was an accident on the Wickery Bridge, Greyson lost control and the car plummeted into depths beneath the old structure. The guard rails should've held but it'd been in a state of disrepair for years, it was only after the accident that the city allocated the funds to repair it.

Elena was the only survivor in the tragic accident, fortunately her little brother wasn't in the car on that horrible night. Damon was already at college, happily ignoring the mournful cries of his birth place, a town too small for his spirited nature. Somehow he still ended up here, figuring he should at least try to discover what's really best for him.

"She wanted to be a doctor, I suppose it was her dad's influence, she wanted to make him proud. But to give her credit, what she does now isn't too far from her original plan."

"She was that good, huh?"

"Are you kidding? She was our class valedictorian, everyone expected great things from her. She was always a few steps ahead of me."

 _That's something._ Damon doesn't remember the last time Stefan admitted someone could turn out better than himself – at anything. Well, actually it's never happened before. He studies the nostalgic look his brother's suddenly sporting. He wonders...

"Did the two of you date?" he can't help the edge to his voice at the very thought.

"Almost," Stefan answers discontentedly and Damon has no idea why he should feel relieved.

" _Almost_?" he's mocking. "Wow, Stef, if I did a count of every woman that I've _almost_ slept with..."

His brother gives him a nasty look. "Well, I'm not you, am I?"

" _Clearly,_ " Damon watches Stefan leave, a haughty glint in his eye, with amusement. Some things never change... namely his little brother's arrogance.

* * *

The next time he sees her it's once again in the ED. She looks… lovely as ever, her hair messy, clothes bloody, an ugly looking cut on her chin and the _naked_ parts of her body, her ash-covered face is striped black where sweat has run down her skin.

His nightmarish shift just ended, they had a kid brought in, in full arrest from drowning. Thankfully they got a rhythm back. They weren't so lucky with the shooting victim. As a last ditch effort, Damon had to crack his chest and attempt internal cardiac massage. They had a heartbeat for about thirty seconds before losing it permanently. On his way to shower and change, he stops at the desk to mention something to the woman who's head is immersed in a report of some kind. His shadow falls on the paper and she raises her head to look at the intruder. "Hey doc…"

"Hello to you too, I'm…"

"Stefan's brother, I know. Sorry, Doctor Salvatore."

"Contrary to popular belief, I usually prefer _Damon_ to ' _Stefan's brother'_ but since we haven't officially met yet, I can't very well hold a grudge now can I?" he does a thing with his eyes and Elena can't help but smile, despite the exhaustion that's wracking her body.

"I'm Elena Gilbert," she adds realizing it felt more personal than she intended.

"Nice to meet you, Elena, Gilbert. What brings you here tonight?"

Her eyes are so expressive, they shine after his question, igniting something unrecognizable inside of him. "My patient was a five year old. The firemen pulled her out of a flaming house, smoke inhalation, burns, we managed to stabilize her. The chopper's taking her to the burn center in Richmond. Hopefully she'll be alright... It was a good day."

"I'm glad to hear that... children are the hardest," he gives her a small thoughtful smile. Aware that his excuse for lingering is rather weak, he reluctantly turns to leave. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Elena Gilbert..." For a second he holds his breath but she doesn't protest, he forces his legs to move forward and away from her.

"Hey doc!" she calls and sprints after him. "The man we brought in a few weeks ago, is he going to be okay?" she knows he can't give her any specifics but still…

Stopping in his tracks, he turns around with a huge smile on his face. "Did you doubt me? I hope not?" Without saying another word, he turns to walk away.

She's sporting a wide grin even after he disappears behind the glass doors.

* * *

Doctor Salvatore crosses not only her path but also her mind quite often over the course of the past few weeks. She notices how focused and patient he is with his patients. His sarcasm and the way he can ease the tension is admirable. Stefan's always been so tense, so serious, the brothers are like day and night but she can't slight Stefan, he's a great doctor too. It's just that their mannerisms are the polar opposite of each other. Not that she'd ever have use for Stefan's services. She chuckles mentally at the thought. _Yeah,_ plastic surgery is exactly the field she would have expected Stefan to pursue. When she found out what he chose to specialize in, she wasn't the least bit surprised.

"Hey, Elena, wanna grab something to eat? I'm paying…," Kai wiggles his eyebrows at her. She considers him for a moment. She knows what he's hoping for, but it's never going to happen. Not anymore. It was a mistake going out with someone from work. And Kai's a good friend, one she doesn't want to lose. Even if she did have time to spend with the opposite sex, her answer will always be no.

"Sorry Kai, I'm on duty, picked it up when Tyler called in sick. I don't have time for lunch, I need to get back to the station."

If he's disappointed, he doesn't show it. "Really Elena? Again? I'm still waiting for the occasion to arise when someone will pick up a shift for you in return. You really should make time for something as important as lunch. What good will you be in the field if you get lightheaded or something from lack of sustenance?"

Elena chuckles, he has a point. "You know me, Kai, when have I ever been able to resist spending time in the ambulance?"

"Really," he gets serious. "They're using you and you bite into the bait every time."

She waves it off. "Nonsense. I've known Tyler since kindergarten. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't help him or any of you out occasionally? And besides, I have every intention of collecting when the time comes so don't worry your handsome little head about it okay?"

"Let's see if you're more than bluster," he rolls his eyes. "Come on, have a bite to eat with me. It's just lunch, Elena, it won't take that long and besides you need to put something in your belly before you dive right into another shift."

"Okay, Kai, you win," she grabs her bag. He's right after all, her stomach's been growling for hours already.

* * *

The Grill is crowded, although it's long past lunch time. Luckily, Matt's behind the bar and he points them to a reserved table in a corner that stays vacant for the staff and special customers.

"Some former students and infantile adults decided this is the place to be since it's raining," he explains, serving them their usual drinks. Wanna see a menu?"

"Thanks, Matt. It's really not necessary. I'll have the double bacon cheeseburger and another one of these," she finishes off her Coke Zero. "Kai?" she turns to her buddy.

"The same, add fries," he nods at Matt. They're not friends but he comes here often enough that they know each other. He's another of Elena's kindergarten classmates. Although she's never said anything to him, he senses that this one was in love with her at some point... And judging by the way he looks at her when she isn't aware, he suspects he still is?

Elena's an enigma. Everyone knows about the accident that claimed her parents, her struggle to pull herself back together, her dedication to what she does but no one knows what's really going on in her head? What does her private life look like…? He didn't know her back then but he does know that after the accident, she disappeared for a good amount of time and when she came back it was like she'd been reborn. Long forgotten was the broken girl everyone called her after the tragedy, in her place was a strong confident, capable young woman. She studied hard and became a paramedic, earning a job with the Mystic Falls Fire Department. She rose up the ranks, quickly becoming the most naturally gifted member of the team.

Their co-workers love her as do her patients. It happens more often than not that people show up at the station to thank her, thank their team for saving or doing everything she could for their dying loved ones. Always gracious, she thanks them but never fails to include the rest of their team.

The one night they spent together was everything he could have ever wished for - sexually. But it was more than that. Now knowing she's as beautiful inside as she is on the outside, he was the luckiest guy on the face of the earth for one incredible night. He envies the lucky son of a bitch who will someday have her heart, it kills inside that it won't be him but he can't and won't give up her friendship. As painful as the morning after was, he knows she didn't want to hurt him, promising that she didn't regret what happened between them. He's not sure why he doesn't feel offended... it is what it is. What _she_ is. And if he has to walk through hell itself, he will make sure nothing comes between them, not even his possessiveness.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she disturbs his train of thought, placing her hand atop his and giving it a slight squeeze.

"You don't wanna know," he chuckles, stuffing a fry into his mouth.

Elena rewards him with a shiny smile, she won't pressure him just like he'd never pressure her. Suddenly her look freezes at something or someone behind his back, she lets out a whispered…" _Jeremy…_ " so he turns around to look who it might be.

As if he could hear her silent scream, because that's what it was, _an anguished scream_ , the well built tall guy she's looking at turns around and seems to freeze as well. Then he nods coldly and quickly leaves The Grill without so much as a backward glance.

Kai turns back to Elena who drops the rest of her burger on the plate. The color vanishes from her cheeks, pallor spreading from her face down to her neck. He has a feeling she's breaking inside even though she still sits frozen in her chair.

"Elena?"

It takes a few extra seconds before she's able to move. After giving him a glance, she pushes the plate away. "I'm not hungry anymore, I gotta go, I can't be late."

He quickly pays the bill then hurries outside. The way she hightailed it out of the place, he literally has to run to catch up with her.

* * *

He hates these family gatherings with the passion of ten thousand burning suns. The only way to survive he's discovered is a constant supply of the finest bourbon, one that luckily his dad can provide. He pours himself another while listening to his father and Stefan's edifying conversation about his brother's upcoming publication in one of the plastic surgery journals. They've been discussing it for _years_ now. He wants to roll his eyes, or just run out of the room. As strong as the inclination is, he reins it in. He doesn't come to his parents' house that often so he should just sit quietly, nod and say yes and then he'll be done with it for another month.

"What do you think, Damon? Should I add the technical vocabulary for the general public?"

"Is It for them, are they your target audience or is it geared more for physicians and other professionals who subscribe to that periodical? If you want to publish a book at some point then yes, you'll have to use layman's terms."

Both, his father and brother look at him somewhat unsatisfied. And here we go…

"You know, Damon," his father starts, "I don't understand how you can be so _shallow_ when it comes to your profession? You've got so many opportunities to set up research, you could have joined Stefan and…"

"Dad, don't start okay? We've been through this a million times already. I'm satisfied with what I do. I'm no slouch, trauma surgery is a full time job. It's always different, nothing's routine, quite unlike making some woman's boobs bigger…" When Stefan's eyes nearly pop out of his head, he raises his hands in surrender. He doesn't want to say anymore about how much he despises what his brother does, so he smiles and lifts his glass to the youngest Salvatore."

"Where's your ambition, son? You've always been too lazy to try to reach higher."

"Is that what you think? I didn't choose to specialize in emergency medicine and trauma surgery because I was too lazy to look for a more lucrative job. I'll have you know I get paid damn good and not just in money but the rewards of seeing my patient's walk out of the hospital in much better shape than when they came in. You have no idea how fulfilling it is to save a life."

"Dad, it's not like that," Stefan uncharacteristically takes his side. "Damon's one of the best…"

"How many publications has he released?" Giuseppe waves his younger son off, probably admiring his modesty.

In no mood to fight this battle today, Damon swallows what's left in his glass and then gets up slowly. "I'll leave it up to you two to save the world. I'm going to be on my way, I'm on call for the next 12 hours anyway."

Stefan measures him suspiciously, dad just nods, giving him a short glance.

On the way out, he stops in the kitchen to say goodbye to his mom as well. "I'm leaving," he gives her the obligatory kiss on the cheek and is surprised she strokes his shoulder affectionally. Since he returned to Mystic Falls a few years ago, his family dynamics have been strained to put it mildly. They never understood why he needed to leave the nest and why it took him so long to come home. He had fun in college but still managed to keep his grades up, otherwise he wouldn't have been accepted into med school. And they especially couldn't understand why he preferred to submerge himself in _bloody_ work instead of going the academic route. Well, there's many things he doesn't understand about his family either. His Mom wasn't that disapproving, but she's used to taking what his dad says as gospel.

"Don't be a stranger. You know they don't mean it, they're just…,"

"Full of themselves?" Damon winks, awaiting her reaction.

"I think all of the Salvatore men are quite similar in that respect," she laughs and again, it feels genuine. Maybe spending time at the boarding house really isn't a complete waste of time?

"Odds are, you'd be right about that." On impulse, he gives her another kiss and takes his leave before something even weirder pops up.

* * *

As expected, a few hours later he finds himself in the trauma room barking out orders. There was a multi-vehicle pile up on the interstate just outside of Mystic Falls. Some victims were life flighted from the scene directly to Richmond, others here. The blare of the ambulance siren is unrelenting. Although his buzzer is constantly vibrating and patients keep coming, subconsciously his mind wanders to a certain dark-haired, soulful-eyed paramedic who might actually brighten his already frenzied day.

"Doctor Salvatore?"

"Cassie." His favorite nurse... At least she used to be. Always ready for some fun, she's made some of his long nights a little more bearable. Strangely though, her presence now is disappointing, unwanted even as he was expecting someone else...

"Dr. Parker is on the phone with the CT results," she hands him the phone.

"Thanks," Damon brushes her off and takes it, "Josh, what do you have for me?" After hanging it up, he collects himself and gives her a slight smile, it'll have to do, he can't muster up any genuine enthusiasm. He can see Cassie's caught off guard however there's not enough time for her to linger so she just nods, mumbles something about _later_ and goes back to the patient.

His buzzer goes off again and he runs into another trauma room. "What's the story?"

"Pressure is 78/56. Pulse 130."

"She's in shock." Damon methodically begins to examine the older woman. "Insert an NG tube. Lavage her gut. Her belly is distended, we need to see if she's bleeding internally. Get radiology in here stat to do a chest X ray and get the cardiac monitor on her." Reaching over, he grabs an oxygen mask and carefully puts it on her bruised face. Unable to hear any lung sounds on her left side, he yells again for the chest x ray.

After looking over her chest film, Dr. Parker calls again, "It looks like she has a pneumothorax."

"Grab me a chest tube kit." Taking a scalpel in hand, he makes an incision in her left chest wall, inserts tube and attaches it to a drainage container. Immediately blood starts gushing into it.

"We need to get her to CT to get a picture of her head and also her neck so we can clear her C-spine and remove the collar. Was she conscious at the scene at all?"

"No, Dr. Salvatore," Sherie confirms.

"I need to intubate her. Get RT in here stat."

After finishing surgery on the older woman, he stops to throw some water on his face. He's about to retreat to the physicians lounge for a short nap when his pager goes off yet again. As soon as he walks through the ER doors, _her_ familiar voice cuts over the bustle at the ER.

"He was impaled by a fence post." Damon can see the object poking out of the guy's middle and without hesitation, he hurries towards her, beating Meredith, who is heading in the same direction. "I got it, Mer..."

He's working even before he reaches the patient, an older man. "He lost control and crashed into a fence." Elena explains, holding the bottle of IV fluid as the gurney is quickly pushed into a just cleaned room. Damon's barking instructions at the staff. He would like nothing more than to share more than a hurried, "Hello Elena - hi doc" with her but the patient is crashing, falling into unconsciousness, freeing him from unimaginable pain. He needs emergency surgery stat. For the next hour, he and another surgeon work meticulously to remove the object and get the patient into recovery. Elena's long gone by the time he returns to the ED.

 _The patients just keep coming..._

* * *

It was a very, _very_ long day today. True, it was a double shift, which means _long_ in its essence, but the horrific accident, dozens of people's lives in danger, some of them lost or changed forever made it feel like the course of a damn month. She can't think of them all but she can't not either. How many families are pacing the hospital halls waiting for update that may bring them salvation or damnation? How many already _know_ and are crying, seeking solitude in their bedrooms? How many are praying or whispering a silent 'thank you' during the last shadows of the night? And she believes there are some making love with a renewed passion, holding their loved ones in embrace, feeling only love and happiness, grateful that the fate didn't point her finger at them today.

And then, under all of this is... _Jeremy_. Her brother whom she has not seen for years. He was just an awkward 15 year old when he spewed his venom, telling her she's not his sister and that he never wanted to lay eyes on her _ever again._ She can't blame him, she's never forgiven herself either. And if, the anger he felt, still feels is what keeps him going, then it's alright. She's glad she could help at least this indirectly. He stayed with their mom's sister, while she traveled to Iowa to live with their uncle's family. It was... therapeutic, but also lonely. It took a long time for her to collect herself enough to rise out of the darkness. She began to fight and learned to embrace the _gift_ of life. It took her some time to decide what she wanted to do with herself. It would have been decidedly easier had fate not pulled such a cruel twist on them. She contemplated staying in Iowa but she felt such a longing to return, she owed it to her parents to face and conquer her demons.

Armed with a new paramedic's license from Virginia, she got a job with the Mystic Falls Fire Department, quickly becoming a valued member of the team. Her co-workers appreciate her diligence and work ethic but they don't always consider the stress she places on her self. She does her best to save her patients and if she can't, she tries to comfort them in their last minutes, assuring them that they're not alone.

It works, most of the time anyway, to mute the pain she felt about the long ago night. Surprisingly, her dedication helped her to start enjoying life again. She's not just doing this to honor her parents' memory, she's also doing this for herself. Before her world fell apart, she wanted to follow in her father's footsteps and become a doctor. She wanted to heal people, come up with some epic discovery to make people's lives better, that's all she ever dreamed about... until the night of the party.

She doesn't dream of that night because she has no recollection of it. That's the worst of it, she can't remember how it felt to be surrounded by water so her mind paints fantasies and nightmares. She doesn't remember her father's last words to her. She doesn't remember if her mother was just as angry with her. She has no idea why exactly they came to pick her up. Did she call them? She must have... Or did someone else? She doesn't remember why exactly she was being so difficult that...

Elena leans her head against the back of the armchair. Closing her eyes she tries to remember. Just one small detail. It might spark some glimpse or memory. Instead, her brain is quickly flooded by images of Jeremy, looking coldly at her, pointing at her, saying ' _You killed my parents. You're not my sister.'_ She knows, he would have repeated the same thing if she had cornered him today at the Grill, trying to talk to him. He's tall, a big guy, just like their father was. His dark hair and eyes are their mother's, Elena's reminded of her look everyday in the mirror.

She gets up and helps herself to a drink _._ It's pointless to dwell on those memories. She knows she should let go and move on but she also knows she can't escape her past. She's just too tired tonight. She will rather face it with a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand.

Moving to the window, she lets the fresh morning air waft in. She lets it blow her memories and regrets away from her conscious mind, forcing them in the background.

And then there's him.

The doctor who despite the limited time they've spent in the same room occupies her thoughts at every opportunity. She's sure he's a ladies man the way he carries himself confidently and the flashes of teeth he sports around the female staff. Yet, she can't deny his bedside manner. Many times she's witnessed how genuine he is in the way he cares for the patients that are entrusted to his abilities. She might be tempted to find more about who Doctor Salvatore really is, but the fact itself is a reason to be careful. To keep her distance.

She sighs and lays down on the couch to let in the images she'd been trying so hard to suppress.

 _Tonight, there's no place for her to hide._

* * *

"Elena!" she turns around to the now familiar voice, one she expects to hear every time she enters the hospital.

"Hey doc...," her greeting is always the same, she waits till he reaches her.

"Would you have time to grab some coffee?" he holds his breath, shockingly unsure if she'll accept or not. He doesn't do _unsure_ , usually, but this girl is unfathomable. He has no idea if she's as attracted to him as he is to her. Whether he wants to or not, he can't deny that it's beginning to drive him crazy. It's not just that she's gorgeous or that she has the body of a goddess, the face of a nymph... it's none of that, it's the way she can brighten a room with the sheer force of her presence alone. Not only that, he's witnessed the way she brings out the best in people with kindness and understanding. It's patently obvious how much she cares about people. She's an angel making the world better just by being in it.

"Not here, of course," he adds when he can see a hint of hesitation. "Across the street we can get a decent one," he gestures nodding in the direction.

"Okay," she gives him a smile, if there are any doubts, she covers them well. "I can spare twenty minutes, I just need to let my partner know where I'll be in case we have to leave in a hurry."

Damon nods and quickly retreats to the doctor's lounge to change. He's back within seconds, catching a glimpse of her talking to a dark haired guy. He doesn't look happy, even sends him a distrustful look _._ _Damon doesn't believe the nerve of that guy._

He shifts his focus back at her as she hurries over to him, her eyes bright, face determined. Is she just as excited to spend some real time with him as he is with her?

They find table in a corner, Elena facing the window so she can keep a close eye on the ambulance. They order their coffees, two mocha latte's with coconut milk and Damon takes the liberty to get them a piece of carrot cake to share. Elena shakes her head with an infectious laugh. "It was just supposed to be coffee. This," she nods to the cake, "really wasn't necessary but I must confess that I am hungry." For some reason it makes his day to watch her stick a forkful into her mouth.

Pity they don't have more time on this fine afternoon.

* * *

Another month, another visit. His dad is locked in his study, on the phone with a very important international call. After all, he works for the State Department, although it's part time now. Stefan and himself are helping their mom in the kitchen chatting about ordinary things. She seems to have a keen interest in their love lives. Stefan keeps saying that things with his current squeeze are in the beginning stage but when and if they start to get serious, he'll bring her to the mansion for a meal. Damon mentally rolls his eyes. From what he knows, Stefan's carefully cultivating a relationship with a ward sister, one who fascinates and scares the hell out of him at the same time. He must have stopped listening as Stefan's next comment, addressed to him, catches him of guard.

"I don't like that you're hanging around the ER when Elena's there."

" _Excuse me?"_ Damon has no idea what to say to this insolence.

"I said, I don't like you hanging around Elena, she's not a girl for you."

"Hanging around in the ER? Do you even hear yourself? I'm a trauma surgeon, her job is to bring trauma's to the hospital. So please enlighten me, brother, how is what I do or who I talk to any of your business?"

"Elena Gilbert is not your usual kind of girl," he doesn't give up. "Besides, she's damaged, she doesn't deserve another..."

Damon's about to give him a piece of his mind or maybe a fist in front of his nose when their mother asserts herself, "Elena Gilbert? I like that girl. How is she doing?"

Stefan uses the interruption to back off, knowing he was way out of line. "I'm going to check to see if dad is done." He eyes Damon as he walks out of the kitchen.

 _What a little blister!_

"She works at the hospital?" his mom's inquiring.

"No, she's a paramedic. Pops up occasionally with a case. She's nice," he adds carefully.

"That poor girl, she's been through so much. She lost almost everyone in that one night."

"Did you know them? The Gilberts?"

"Sure. They were our age, their kids the same as ours."

"She still has a brother, right?"

Lily sighs. "Not exactly. She left Mystic Falls shortly after she was well enough to leave the hospital. Some distant relatives took her in. Her brother went to live with Miranda's sister. He didn't want to be anywhere near where she was. He hasn't talked to her since the accident."

* * *

They're once again sitting at their favorite café, the one that's just down the street from the hospital. It's sort of become their thing, having coffee together, chatting, laughing and enjoying each other's company. Whenever they see each other in the ER and neither is in a hurry, which is not as often as Damon would like, they meet at Beans and Cream. Today, they make the effort to seek the opportunity. After she and Kai dropped a patient off, Elena stopped to say hi to him before leaving. Before she went back to work, they made plans to meet up when their shifts were over. Nothing unforeseeable popped up and here they are, sharing a piece of apple cake as they've done since the first time they were there.

Today, however, feels different. There's building tension and even anticipation between them, the air is cracking with energy. They're _free_ for the rest of the day, to do whatever they want to... It's when his knee brushes against hers under the table and their eyes lock in an all knowing stare. He slips his fingers under hers and gives them a light squeeze.

"Would you like to...?"

"I would." She's smiling at him, her eyes shining, he can't quite believe she's offering him a ticket to heaven... just like that.

"My place or...?"

"Not mine."

No other explanation is provided and suddenly Damon starts wondering what her place looks like. He knows what a workaholic she is so it's not rocket science that she doesn't spend a lot of time there. Still his imagination start running wild thinking of what kind of place would suit her needs. Does she have pictures on the walls, ones that honor her loved ones? Is she fond of plants and flowers? Pets? Probably not, she's always at the fire station. Maybe a fish tank? What color is her kitchen?

"No problem," he assures her quickly. "I will gladly show you my kingdom."

She chuckles, out of breath and excited and he's happy she's not nervous or hesitant.

"One thing you must know," she becomes more serious and his eyes dart back to hers. "I... If we do this, it must be a one time thing. I can't give you more. Lets just... enjoy each other."

He should feel relieved, no strings attached. Just... sex and having a good time, that's how he likes it, isn't it? But for some reason it alarms him. What if he's taking advantage? Aware she's watching him closely, he must give her an out. "Are you sure about this? We don't have to..."

"I am," she reassures him. "Never wanted anyone in my life so badly."

The confession takes his breath away, leaves his head spinning..

"Then why are we still here?" He leaves a tip on their table and urges her forward with his palm on her lower back. He holds the door and walks her to his vehicle. With everything in him, he hopes she won't regret what they're about to do in the morning. _Where did that come from?_

* * *

The first rays of morning sun are sneaking through the curtains, finding him wide awake. Having her comfortable and nestled in his arms, her back to his chest, likely catching up some much needed rest, he wasn't able to fall asleep all night. He doesn't mind, far from it... Lying close to her, feeling her heart beating, breathing her in, their breaths synchronized, enjoying the warmth of her body flush against his, the amount of pleasure is beyond his ability to put into words. Watching her smile while she's sleeping triggers something unfamiliar inside.

 _One night and by the time dawn arrives, he feels like he wants to know her, all of her._

It's been hours of drawing circles, smoothing the soft skin of her hip, occasionally pressing wisps of kisses on her shoulder. He would gladly stay lost in this moment forever. Frankly, he welcomes the first signs of daylight. He's more than eager to wake her up and carry on exploring every shade of who the real Elena Gilbert is.

"You're hot," she mumbles half awake, trying to put some space between them, a light sheen of sweat pleasantly cooling her body with the whiff of the cool morning air.

He doesn't let her.

"Thank you," he chuckles, pressing his stubbled face against hers.

She giggles and it's the most joyful sound he's ever heard.

 _He wants more._

Elena turns to him lying on her back, initiating a long, deep, lazy kiss that tastes like heaven. Soon his palm traces the length of her fine form and she arches under his ministrations, unable to eschew the soft and louder noises that he can never get enough of. She pushes him on his back and takes over, her mouth following the path of her fingertips down his body.

 _She's generous..._ Damon finds himself making a mental inventory of Elena's traits that mirror themselves both at work and while love making. She's a giver, that's not a surprise, he knew that. He's staring at the ceiling, trying to distract himself from losing it on the spot. She takes pleasure in causing his. This woman is sexy as hell and at the same time there's something innocent, enchanting and curious about her. Her gentle touches are driving him crazy.

He turns them over to return the favor, watching closely as she takes pleasure from him too. She's not overthinking, it's instinctual, reacting to every subtle impulse he provides. _She's adventurous._ He feels like he could live every fantasy with her but strangely enough he can't think of anything that's missing, not anymore.

She's perfect as she is.

He gently presses her into the mattress, grunting at the cat like purr she lets out feeling the weight of his body. He's sure never have arms and legs wrapped around his body felt so satisfying. She holds onto him for dear life, her fingers clenching his shoulders as they move together. Never, ever has his chest felt so sensitive, every brush against her curves leaves imprints on his red-hot skin.

One last surge of their combined passion and they're spent, lying on his crumpled sheets. She goes willingly at his gentle prod to snuggle up to him, her arm and leg thrown over his form.

 _Can they just stay like this and never leave?_

Who needs a job anyway?

* * *

A few hours later his bedroom's bathing in the sun, shouldn't the curtains at least attenuate the impact of the sharp light on his blurred vision? He can see her silhouette standing by the window, his mouth becoming dry when he realizes she's still in her birthday suit.

 _She's so beautiful._

"It's gorgeous view," she comments, her back facing him, she must have sensed his eyes on her.

"Yeah?" not sure how to react, his place is just a makeshift accommodation. It's a place to sleep and eat but most importantly to him anyway, is that it's a means to avoid living with his parents. It suits his needs just fine, at least until he decides whether or not he wants to stay in this hick town or pick up residence and take off to parts unknown. "Thanks, I guess. It's just temporary arrangement though. At some point I'll probably... move somewhere else." He doesn't add it might be several states away.

"It's good," she nods, gives him a warm smile and he's not sure if she still means his bachelor pad or the fact he'd be moving away. It doesn't make sense but it's not the right time to delve further into it either.

"Listen, I know we need to get ready for work, soon, but there's still a bit of time to share breakfast? I make a pretty mean Denver omelet..."

Her smile melts away and her eyes become wary. "No."

"No? I'll be quick I promise, you clearly have no idea what you're turning down...," his tone is still teasing although he's well aware the air has changed.

"Damon, _no._ I can't do that. I made it clear before we started that _this,"_ she motions between the two of them, "would have to be a one time thing. I don't do breakfasts and mornings after, I don't do relationships. I'm not that kind of girl and I thought you understood. Maybe welcomed it, actually?"

"Yeah, you told me," Damon responds carefully. "But it felt... _right_... Don't you feel it?" his eyes compel her to tell the truth. "Besides, you told me about the one night thing, you didn't exclude breakfast."

"You don't understand," she tries to avoid his penetrating gaze. "I'm not going to do this. We both agreed to it. So please, let it go. I just... can't."

She quickly collects her clothes and disappears in the bathroom. Not for long though. She's out before he can gather his wits. As soon as she reaches the doorframe, she pauses, turning around to give him one more look. "It's not personal so please, don't be angry. Or... you can be, if it helps you..." The soft click of the door echoes in his head as he tries to decipher his feelings.

Is he angry? Certainly not. Disappointed? Definitely. But he wouldn't be Damon Salvatore if he just gave up on this special woman, one he's not ready to lose. Because now he knows she can feel it too. He saw it in her eyes with that last broken look.

* * *

The whole day turns out to be nightmarish at best, horrific at worst. One patient after another pours into the emergency room, two of them in full arrest, a bus crash on the highway brought in several trauma patients and it's only mid afternoon. Damon's hardly had time to relieve himself let alone give Elena a thought. For a brief lull in an otherwise stormy day, she's there... Somehow he needs to convince her to give them a chance. There's a nagging feeling inside him that she'll put up a good fight, considering her over the top reaction about something as simple as having breakfast together. But if there's one thing he learned from his father, he's nothing if not persistent...

Finally the call he's been waiting for... "Thanks, Josh," Damon hangs up the phone and turns to his patient. "Your ankle is fractured in three places. I'm going consult an orthopedic surgeon. Dr. St John will take you to surgery, it looks like you're going to need some hardware," he explains. It's obvious that the man is in intense pain so he leaves the exam room and tells the nurse to give him some Morphine IV stat. Taking a swallow of his cold coffee, he glances at his watch, his shift ends in a few hours. When he sees the brown haired lab tech, his mind immediately drifts to _her_. Shaking his head, he retreats to the doctor's lounge to catch some sleep till the next trauma arrives.

* * *

Another week passes and he's hardly caught a glimpse of _his_ charming paramedic. It takes a few days for him to realize that she's avoiding him. For some reason it never occurred to him that she could accomplish that considering their careers. He makes an effort, even goes so far as to seek out any opportunity to run into her but she must have ESP or some special skill, because she keeps slipping past him undetected. Logically he knows he should give her space but something inside... Honestly, he just misses her, their conversations over coffee... let alone their latest encounter...

"Excuse me, doctor?" A tall well built brown haired man with eyes now full of anxiety, a tiny girl in his arms stops him on his way out of the ER.

Damon looks at them, already tending to the girl's needs. "I'm Doctor Salvatore. What's wrong with the little one?"

"She's been feverish, nausea and vomiting for a couple of days. She's really lethargic and limp, I panicked, she's my baby girl. We've been giving her baby Ibuprofen and cool compresses but... she's getting worse."

"How old is she?" Damon asks and leads them into an exam room, hooking an arm for a nurse to follow.

"Eighteen months."

Taking the girl form her father, he lays her on the exam table. Listening to heart and lungs, feeling her loose skin turgor and the darkness under her eyes, he suspects she's severely dehydrated. "Bonnie, I need a CBC, BMP, Mg, Phos, UA and a set of blood cultures. Get an IV started, we need to give her some fluids." Bonnie nods, quickly calls a lab tech to draw blood and gathers what she needs to insert an IV in the baby." He observes how lost the young man appears.

"I'm Jeremy. Jeremy Gilbert. And this is my daughter Jess... My girlfriend Anna's on the way from work."

Damon doesn't stop examining the alarmingly weak toddler but it feels like there's an explosion in his mind. _So this is Elena's brother... The one who doesn't talk to her._ When the lab tech shows up, he and Jeremy step out of the room while her blood is being drawn, he doesn't want to see his daughter have to be poked and prodded.

Damon picks up a chart to check on another patient while waiting for the baby's labs. It's as if fate decided to interfere. At that very moment through his peripheral vision, he sees another patient being wheeled through the ambulance bay doors. Of course it's Elena, straddling the man's middle doing chest compressions, while shouting at the hospital staff to get them a room.

"A heart attack, male 67...," She trails off as she inevitably notices her brother's presence, eyes as wide as saucers.

"Go on?" Meredith's already on the case and one of the nurses takes over doing compressions for her. Elena dutifully reels off what she knows about the man and then backs out of the room to let the staff do their jobs. She's too pumped on adrenaline to retreat and hurries to Damon's side.

"What happened?" she breathes out and he can see how worried she is. He opens his mouth to instinctively reassure her but Jeremy cuts him off.

" _Nothing_ that concerns you. Doctor, I don't want her here." His tone is so harsh and Elena winces, taking a step backwards as if he slapped her in the face. "I... I'm sorry..."

Damon would like nothing more than to tell Jeremy what he thinks about his execrable attitude, but he knows he can't do that. Before he can ask Elena to just wait for him by the nurse's desk, she's already gone, Damon squeezes his lips together, then uses his best professional mask and turns back to Jeremy. "You should go back to your daughter, I'll be in to talk to you as soon as I see her labs."

Jeremy nods and retreats.

Raking a hand through his sweaty hair, he searches for Bonnie, happy when she shows him the child's lab work. "Thanks Bonnie."

"No problem, Doctor Salvatore."

Damon pushes the curtain aside and steps in. "Your daughter's labs indicate a virus. She's dehydrated from the nausea, vomiting and fever. We're giving her some fluids and a Phenergan suppository. It should help with the nausea."

"Will she be alright?"

"She will be. With little children these things always looks scarier than they are. I don't expect any complications however, we'll keep her here for a few hours to give her the fluids. If she perks up, we'll send her home with a prescription, if not, I'll admit her and consult a pediatrician. We'll keep you informed." He moves his head in a short nod and turns away but Jeremy stops him.

"Thank you, Doctor Salvatore. I... need to explain, I don't want any information given to that paramedic."

"You mean your _sister_?" Damon can't help it, some of his hidden anger breaks through in his response. "I understand it's _family_ matter, but you don't have to worry, we have privacy rules, I can't reveal anything to her or anyone else for that matter without your explicit consent."

Jeremy's face becomes colder. "She's not family."

"You're wrong... the thing about families, Mr. Gilbert, we can't choose them. And even if we don't agree with them or they anger us, they're still our family and they care whether we choose to see it or not."

 _How ironic is it to hear those words coming from his mouth?_

* * *

Leaving Jeremy with his daughter, Damon dodges the ED traffic to get to the nurse's desk but Elena's nowhere in sight. Cursing under his breath, he eyes Meredith and approaches her. "Need some help?"

"Got it covered, thanks."

"The paramedic...?"

"Elena? I think she left," she replies without looking up.

Meredith's busy with her patient who seems to be doing better, he has a heart rhythm but is intubated and waiting for an ICU bed. Damon backs off to get out of the way. He suspects Elena would be happy to know that for now anyway, they pulled him back from death's door. What would she say? _'Today's a good day.'_ Although it isn't. Not for her.

He glances around one more time and is about to leave when he spots Josh Parker talking to one of the paramedics, he looks a lot like Elena's partner? Damon recalls the nasty look the guy graced him with while he was waiting for Elena the first time they had a _coffee date._ With no particular intention, he slowly moves closer when Josh notices and gives him a nod, beckoning him over.

"Damon, meet my son, Kai, he's a paramedic... Kai, Doctor Salvatore."

They observe each other warily, Damon processing this new information.

"Do you happen to know where Elena disappeared to? I thought you two left already...," he's not going to miss an opportunity, he's sure now she'll try to avoid him even more stubbornly than before.

Kai looks at his father, then decides to answer truthfully. "She's outside, said she needed a minute."

"Thanks," Damon nods gratefully, although he has no doubt Kai would rather have kept the information to himself. He waves at Josh and turns to go outside, hoping they won't have another emergency for a few minutes. Once he steps through the double doors, he looks around and almost immediately, he sees her standing under a tree next to the ambulance. He quickly closes the distance between them.

With her mind elsewhere, she doesn't notice him till he's standing next to her.

"Elena?" he speaks softly.

"Hey doc," she looks aside, quickly wiping her eyes so he won't see the tear tracks on her cheeks.

Damon mentally rolls his eyes. Yeah, they're back to 'hey doc'. _After the phenomenal night they shared._ But now is not the time to address the elephant in the room.

"She's going to be okay. Your niece. She's okay."

Elena sniffs, it's a sound of relief, he's sure. "You're not supposed to tell me."

It's not a question.

"No, but I'm choosing to tell you."

She gives him a small grateful smile and he just wants to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless.

"Come with me to _our_ café later? I have two more hours, I can pick you up or wait for you...?"

"Damon...," she grimaces and he just _knows_ she's going to say 'no'. "I..."

"Don't say no, alright? Give it a thought. I'm not going to pressure you into something you don't want. But we can still have coffee, right? And we can still talk. I miss that..." _I miss you..._

Elena studies his face for a minute, then shakes her head. "Okay. I have to finish my shift, I'll meet you here when I get off," she adds with a short hesitation.

Damon nods, squeezes her arm and quickly leaves before she changes her mind.

As much as he wants to comfort her, he doesn't turn around, the longing look in her eyes will be his undoing. He understands, he's very much aware that the place she's standing is only a short distance from her family. It's probably the closest she's been to them since their lives were tragically turned upside down.

* * *

The next two hours are the longest in his entire shift, hell in his entire week. With a calm that settled into the ED, well calm for those who work there, he no longer has patients to keep him busy, the result being that his mind keeps drifting to the girl in the parking lot. She's still mourning her family as if it was only yesterday that she lost them. He supposes that running into her brother, the one with the caustic attitude that clearly needs adjusting keeps the wounds raw.

Finally the clock strikes midnight and he's free to leave but not before stopping to see how Elena's niece is. He doesn't give a shit about what anyone else thinks, he's going to tell her that little Jessica is okay. A petite brunette is now in the room sitting beside Jeremy at their daughter's bedside. Damon has no intention of starting another conversation so he just gives them a quick update, assures them she's doing better and that Dr. Fell will discharge her later if appropriate.

As soon as he gets outside, his eyes land on the spot where Elena was standing earlier, sighing with relief that she's there. When she sees him coming closer, she walks forward to meet him halfway and then they turn towards the café once they're standing side by side.

"I wasn't too late, was I?"

Elena shakes her head 'no' but doesn't respond verbally.

Once they are seated at _their_ corner table and after Damon places their order, he doesn't hesitate to take her hand in his, trying to catch her eyes.

"She's better, I checked before I came outside."

Elena nods, appreciating the information and gives him a sad smile. "Thanks. I know you're not supposed to... Just thank you. I'm glad you were there."

His cocky nature wants to burst with pride, _she's glad he was there._ She must look at him in a positive light at least he hopes so. "There's many good doctors and her case really wasn't difficult." Damon's not an arrogant man, it takes a team of dedicated professions working together to give their patients the best chance at survival.

"Still... I'm aware you're one of the best. Every time you receive one of _my_ patient's, I feel better. And it's the same with other paramedics, we're not blind you know."

"Why didn't you become a doctor?" Damon takes the opportunity to ask something he's been curious about. It's a rather personal question but he'd like to know the answer...

She doesn't answer right away and he expects she'll tell him to go to hell... but then she surprises him yet again.

"I suppose my priorities changed. The fact I'm here and they aren't… It took me awhile to decide but when I did, I knew I wanted to do something to honor them, to thank them. They're the reason I'm still here."

He's stunned, she seems to be quite open. Maybe she does need to finally talk to someone? He'd feel honored to become her ear. He knows she doesn't seek reassurance and he won't give her an excuse to cut it off, so he just nods, watching her intently.

"I realized this is what I wanted to do. Save people's lives, give them another chance... what could be more satisfying? I mean, you, the doctors ultimately do the saving, keep them alive but we do our part too... we get them to the hospital in time to give them a fighting chance."

 _She looks... happy,_ when she's talking about what she decided to pursue in life. She believes it's the right thing for her. He's certain there's more to be said, about her, that evening, about her brother. She's still holding back. But it's a start and he's not going to screw it up.

They stay for another hour talking about everything and nothing, till she looks at her watch and realizes she should get home. He offers to give her a lift and she accepts.

"Just... drop me off at the station, my place is only a few minutes from there."

He doesn't try to change her mind, it'd be pointless. However, he savors the extra twenty minutes he gets to spend sharing her company.

"Thanks, Damon," is all she gives him, yet he feels like he just won the lottery.

 _He's got it bad._

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 _We have a little more to write to finish part 2. It'll be posted when it's completed._

 _Story title from the Avantasia song of the same name._

 _We're anxious to hear your thoughts on this one. You're all the best, thank you for all of your support and encouragement and friendships._

 _Thank you Eva for another beautiful idea. Your muse is in a league all of her own._

 _WTTJ will update tomorrow or Thursday._

 _HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE!_


	2. Wretched and Divine

_**Part two was getting so long that we decided to make this a 3 part story.**_

 _ **Death Is Just a Feeling Part 2: Wretched and Divine**_

* * *

Damon would like to think they're making progress but he's not delusional either. Elena keeps avoiding him just like before. So many times he's thought about running over to her fire station to confront her. There she'd have no place to hide or run to. He won't though, he doesn't want to alienate her. If time is what it takes to persuade her to give him a chance, to give _them_ a chance, so be it. He's a grown man, not some still wet behind the ears school kid, he's not about to throw a temper tantrum when things don't go the way he'd like.

Speaking of 'school kids'...

He watches his brother following Lexi, one of the ward nurses, with an amused glint in his eye. It's rather obvious that she's not opposed to Stefan's affections. Damon knows her well enough to say with confidence that she'll eventually give him a chance. According to the hospital chatter, his baby brother is by all accounts quite the catch. Still Stefan should be prepared, she will be the one wearing pants in any relationship. Maybe that's a good thing given Stefan's proclivities.

Having seen enough, he turns away from their mating ritual but Stefan's already noticed him and with a defiant look on his face comes to _say hi._

"What are you laughing at?"

"And hello to you too, brother. I'm not. I'm just glad your mission to bring mom the future mother of her grandchildren is going well."

Stefan turns crimson but immediately gets it under control. "Despite the fact you're being so incredibly rude it is. And sorry, just because your love life is lacking doesn't mean you have to take it out on the stud of the family, aka me."

"And who said anything about my love life lacking?"

"Well, you probably depleted all the willing options in this building by now and Elena's not hanging around you in the ER anymore, so...?"

"Now who's the rude one, Stef? Although I do admit my role in this... lashing out at yours... However, never underestimate my options and how do you know Elena and I aren't rendezvousing elsewhere? It does tend to get a little crowded in here from time to time."

Stefan's eyes bulge and he opens his mouth to attempt a witty retort but Damon's not going to wait for it.

"Don't forget your speech Stef. I have another patient to see." And if he's not mistaken, his favorite paramedic team just arrived.

* * *

On the way to the ambulance bay, Damon tries to catch a glimpse of _her,_ but it's only Kai Parker who rushes in with the patient. He quickly takes over and listens to the paramedic reel off information.

"Female, age 69, we intubated her at the scene, smoke inhalation, third degree burns on her legs, pulse 144, BP 92/56," he yells, holding the IV bag above his head as they hurry to a trauma room.

"Do you know any medical history?" Damon asks, barking out orders for the nurses, RT, Lab and radiology. Facing Will, the respiratory therapist, he tells him to get a blood gas stat.

"History of a STEMI, stents, diabetes, renal failure, on dialysis," Kai informs him. "Her daughter showed up just as we were loading her for transport."

Damon quickly starts to assess the woman, telling Bonnie to get him a central line kit. As much as he's dying to ask about Elena, he can't think about her right now, he's too much of a pro to let himself be distracted with personal matters. It'll have to wait as Parker will probably be gone before they get this woman to the ICU. Bonnie hands him what he asks for and he quickly access her internal jugular vein and inserts it with precision, he orders a stat x ray to check placement. He's a little surprised to see the young man still hanging in the background. Recalling Elena's words about the paramedics feeling relieved when he's on duty, he allows himself a quick glance at the man. The young Parker looks worried but relaxed.

 _He thinks that today, she and the others may decide their faith in him is misplaced._

"Damon, she's crashing," Lexi yells, starting CPR. He orders medication and then they shock her with the defibrillator. The team works hard for more than a half hour when he calls the code, announcing the time of death at 14:32. He steps aside to take a few breaths, feeling defeated like he always does when... there's nothing else to do. To his surprise Kai approaches him.

"Thank you, doc, she didn't have much of a chance, she kept slipping away since we picked her up."

Damon looks at him closely. He should really stop underestimating them. "No, thank you, Parker, you got her here quickly, you gave her a fighting chance, it just wasn't to be," he responds slowly and for the first time he feels a certain connection between Elena's partner and himself.

"Not a good day, huh? Maybe we can still balance the scales today. It's early yet..."

"Elena?" Damon asks before he can think about it. The line Kai used is one she uses all the time, making him painfully aware he's not such a big part of her life, there are others.

Kai considers him for a second. "She stayed behind with another crew just in case the guys found anymore victims." His answer is natural and Damon finds his mood improving almost instantly.

"Okay, we'll be ready," he waves at the man and hurries to change into a clean pair of scrubs.

* * *

A half hour later, Damon gets his first glimpse of Elena when she arrives with another patient. She's gray and bloody, carefully holding an oxygen mask over the man's face. Damon's heart almost stops as it isn't clear whether the blood is hers or the patient's. He moves quickly to take over and soon a bunch of people is swarming around the injured man. Damon's barking instructions at the team, hoping they will be lucky this time around.

Elena backs off looking exhausted, she keeps her eyes on what they're doing though.

"Are you hurt?" Damon allows himself one look straight at her, feeling relieved when she shakes her head 'no'.

"I'm okay, it's just...," she takes a look at herself, feeling surprised at what she can see. "Well, at least the blood isn't mine." Sensing her presence is rather distracting she retreats from the ER to wash up and change the clothes. She needs to get back as soon as the ambulance returns with more victims.

The fire, the scenery is like hell itself. Flame burns with colors she never thought it possible. The wood is fast becoming ash and the vinyl siding is sliding down like chocolate in summer heat. The smoke is being carried to the southeast by the wind, over the apartment complex raining down ash particles and dust.

No one knows how many people may still be stuck inside and if they'll be able to get them out. The few that they managed to transport to the hospital have little chance, Kai already lost his.

She quickly finishes and hurries back to the ER only to witness Damon calling it with a dark look on his handsome face. Their eyes meet, no words are needed. Elena gives him a nod and heads outside to wait for the ambulance.

* * *

This day seems to have no end. She's back on scene and the fire still is nowhere near under control. There's a crowd of onlookers standing at a safe distance. The police have barricades up, preventing them from coming too close. It's not hard to distinguish the curious from those who are hanging onto a glimmer of hope that their loved ones will be rescued. The fire is roaring but it isn't enough to drown out the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope.

She wants to help, the waiting is killing her and despite the fact that she knows they won't let her go in anyway, she hurries over to the chief. His face is grimy with smoke and debris. His posture is slumped in fatigue as he treats himself with a bottle of water, his tired eyes on the building.

"We checked the right side and the front, it's beginning to die down. No living. It's still raging in the back..."

"Can I help?" she has to ask.

Mikael turns to her and gives her a small smile. "You are. Just stay at a safe distance, you may be needed later... in one piece. Even if they don't find anyone else alive, the boys will need you," he adds darkly.

Elena takes in his concerned expression. "Kol? He's in there?"

He doesn't have to answer that question, Elena knows he must be worried about his youngest son who decided to follow in his footsteps. Normally, they aren't on the same shift but since several men fell sick with flu and two got injured last night, everyone is doing what they can.

Mikael throws away the bottle and takes off to join the battle again. Elena sighs and goes back to the ambulance, alone with her thoughts and feelings. Can they get anything right today? She anxiously looks out for the men that are supposed to appear from behind the building.

Suddenly, there's an enormous explosion and as if in slow motion, the roof moves sliding to one side. An orange fist of flame punches its way out of the main complex. Windows shatter. Smoke and flames rush out. Thousands of pieces of glass and steel rain down on them. Alarms - shrill and deafening- erupt. A huge bite had been taken out of the side and the roof of the building.

Elena gets a sick feeling watching it, before her heart skips a beat as the top crashes down and the building collapses, burying everything, everyone inside under its weight. She's frozen for a minute while the screechy sound stills.

 _No..._

Kai appears next to her, she didn't even notice his return and they start running, along with everyone else who wasn't in the building at the moment of collapse. They halt a short distance from the conflagration so as not to get in the way. To her great relief, most of the men managed to get outside before the explosion. Miraculously Mikael got them off the roof just before it went down. Her eyes dart all around but she doesn't see all of them. She can't see Kol.

Dread owns her, pushing against her like an invisible gale, attempting to reverse her steps. It sets her face like rigor mortis, her teeth locked tight together. Fear sits like a pillow over her mouth and nose. Her heart is hammering wildly, still enough air gets by it, allowing her body to keep functioning. Despite the flood of adrenaline that's urging her to run, she can't, she won't. The men are counting on her and she will not fail them, not now, not ever.

Seconds pass like hours as the guys work frantically to clear the entrance. In the end it takes 20 minutes before they pull the first guy out, ten more before they find another. It takes full forty five minutes to extricate Kol. At some point his oxygen mask fell off, he isn't breathing. She catches Mikael's anxious look and shortly nods. Now it's up to her, the elder Mikaelson needs to take care of the rest of the fire. She has to take care of his son.

Immediately she drops and commences CPR. Kai and Tyler rush over with their gear, they quickly intubate Kol and begin bagging him to keep his brain and vital organs oxygenated. Grabbing the defibrillator, Kai quickly places the patches on his chest. The machine yells clear and they stand back, watching helplessly as his body jerks from the electricity. She resumes CPR and after a second shock, they have a rhythm. Without wasting another second, they load him into the ambulance and with siren blaring, they speed to the hospital.

 _Now they need Damon to work his magic and a little miracle to break through this otherwise tragic night..._

* * *

Damon watches Elena chatting with Kol, holding his hand in the process. He couldn't be more grateful that if just one person was destined to survive this horrible day, it's the young fireman. He remembers when one of them died a few years back under similar circumstances, the whole town mourned, flags were lowered to half staff on the day of the funeral, and there wasn't a dry eye to be found in the church.

He can't help but feel a little jealous of the way they're looking at each other not to mention how laidback the atmosphere seems between the two of them. Clearly this man is important to her, is there...something... deeper going on?

He clears his throat, interrupting their _moment_ , letting them know they're not alone anymore. Kol's head turns in his direction, he can't see him though, as his eyes are bandaged. They're inflamed from the smoke and ash. Damon called in an ophthalmologist to consult who ordered eye drops around the clock and to keep them covered.

Luckily for this one, he wasn't long without his oxygen mask otherwise he'd have an anoxic brain injury and a poor prognosis. He was also suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning but his blood gases improved after spending some time in the hyperbaric chamber. Along with some cuts and bruises, he has a fractured clavicle, all in all he was very, very fortunate. He'll recover quickly with no permanent damage.

"Sorry doc, didn't see you," he jokes, his voice still weak and hoarse but clearly nothing can dim his cheery mood. Reluctantly, he has to admit the boy's optimistic nature does Elena good.

"It's alright, Kol no one would blame you, in company like this...," he gives a little bow in Elena's direction. Her eyes shine like stars and a shade of pink adds to the color on her cheeks. She looks aside, avoiding his intense stare. _He just couldn't resist._

"Wait a minute, I may not _see_ you, but I'm not blind either! What are you up to, doc? You aren't going to steal this one for yourself," he possessively squeezes Elena's hand and she chuckles chastising him.

"You would do well do concentrate on getting better and behaving yourself. The doctors and nurses don't need your family to drive them crazy. And you know what I'm talking about," she adds, raising an eyebrow at him.

She's right, the Mikaelson clan's a _big_ family. He's certain that any moment now, they'll march through the double doors demanding not only the best care but also best of everything for their youngest boy. "If he continues to improve, he should be well enough to be discharged in a few days. That'll depend on his attending doctor, the orthopedist and Dr. Laughlin, the ophthalmologist. But with that said, you _ca_ n forget about going back to work anytime soon though. You have to give your body some time to recover."

"Yeah," Kol's tone becomes sour, "you're probably right. It's going to take a lot of convincing to prove to my mom that I'll be safe when I am able to go back." he shudders at the thought.

"Okay Kol, if you don't need anything else, let the nurse do her job, they'll be transferring you to a private room soon," he points out with an amused expression, the youngest Mikaelson is really something.

"Elena," he addresses her when he notices she's going to leave. "Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee? Once Mr. Mikaelson gets settled in his room, he'll be able to have visitors."

She hesitates, he can see that, searching for an excuse. "I... I need to get back to my shift. Kai should be here in about a half hour to pick me up..."

"You still might have a half hour?"

"Hey, you two, I'm still here, listening to what already sounds like a private conversation. Come on, 'Lena, the doc saved my life, a coffee won't kill you," Kol lets himself be heard once more.

Elena chuckles at his antics, although he feels everything but relaxed. "Alright," she looks at Damon and nods. "A half hour it is."

* * *

"We can make it a quick lunch," Damon tempts her.

She gives him a small tentative smile, then says something Damon's heart skips a beat at. "I'd rather make it more private...?" She's unsure but more desirable and Damon swallows thickly, nodding, not trusting himself to answer.

He tells the nurse at the desk he's going to lunch and leads her outside pointing at the building next to the hospital. First they cross the street and pick up what Damon swears is the best burritos to take with them.

His office is on third floor, the room is large, bright and airy. He has a beautiful cherry wood desk, a book shelf on the back wall behind his chair. There are pictures of his family along with ones of himself and who she suspects are his friends. In one he's wearing climbing gear with a beer in his hand, in another he's standing beside a bike with a man on one side and a woman on the other. She wonders if maybe she was something to him the way his arm is around her shoulders. Rather than ponder the meaning, Elena heads right for the shelf with medical books and magazines, caressing them with her eyes while Damon unpacks their lunch and pops a K cup into his Keurig.

"My dad's office used to look like this... He had all these publications and a pile of different magazines, I used to bury my nose in them every time he brought me to work with him."

The look of nostalgia in her eyes breaks his heart a little. He puts the plates on the coffee table and comes to stand next to her. She raises her eyes looking at him questioningly but he just shakes his head. "Well, my dad never took me to work with him when I was a kid. When he decided I should learn something about the business world, it was too late. I was already in love with the image of walking hospital corridors and having beautiful nurses, the ones who cold moonlight as models, hanging on my every word."

Elena laughs, as he hoped she would. "So neither of you followed in your father's footsteps?"

"Of course not. Stefan naturally had to follow mine but that wasn't good enough, he had to prove to himself I suppose that he's the better brother."

For some reason Elena finds it rather sad and turns to proceed with the lunch only to find herself against his solid form as he clumsily gets in her way.

"Wait...," Damon takes a step back to give her some space but his eyes never leave hers. He gently lifts both of her hands and gives them a light squeeze.

 _He does that often._ Elena's breath hitches at the familiar gesture. She hesitates for a moment, then squeezes back. It makes her heart both flutter with excitement and feel fear at the same time. She doesn't think anyone could ever make her feel so torn.

"We should eat our lunch, it's getting late," she must keep herself focused.

"I happen to know, your shift doesn't start for another hour and a half. And they know where to find me if they need us. We have time."

"Damon... we shouldn't do this... I can't do this."

"Okay, I already know that. Here's the deal. Just step away from your life for five minutes. We can talk or we don't have to, we can touch or not if you find it uncomfortable but let yourself _feel._ React to the way you're feeling, don't overthink everything. It's just you and me. No complications. No pasts. No 'buts'..."

He looks at her expectantly and she suddenly can't remember why she should protest or why she should turn around and march out of his door and never look back. But she feels the warmth of his fingers, reads the honesty in his eyes. Through his touch her body's coming alive, remembering how it was like to become one.

 _Letting herself feel,_ _with him... very bad idea._

Before she can listen to reason and run away, her body decides for her. She finds herself nodding and letting Damon lead her to the coffee table. With one more squeeze he lets go of her hands and digs into his carne asada burrito with guacamole. Apparently that's not all she can't control, her subconscious takes over and she moans without consent at the first bite.

"It's..."

"Yummy? You bet," Damon smirks at her, very much enjoying the easy moment they're apparently having. When all is sad and done, they don't talk, much, but the atmosphere is light and they both seem to feel better because of it.

Before they leave, Elena takes one more look around to imprint the image of Damon's office into her memory. For some reason it feels more like Damon than his own apartment, it better complements his personality...

 _She shouldn't have come here..._

He rouses her from her reverie by materializing right in front of her.

"Elena," he speaks urgently, "you do not have to sacrifice your happiness in a misguided attempt to punish yourself for what happened to your family. You had no control over that, and you know as well as I do that bad things happen to good people every single day. We're witnesses to it, you and me, I can't..."

She will never know what he can't do, because at the moment his lips slowly descend on hers. He kisses her like she is everything. And for a moment, as his lips consume her and his tongue dances languidly with hers, she imagines what it would be like if they could always be this way. It's overwhelming, intense, the most powerful and yet gentle one she's ever experienced.

* * *

Kol's released eight days later, his stay complicated by the fact that his fractured clavicle required surgery to stabilize it. He'll need to do some outpatient physical therapy and he may ache when the weather changes but he should make a full recovery if he works with his therapist. Damon's happy for the young man and his family but his discharge also means that he won't be running into Elena as much when she's off duty. It's been two weeks since he had lunch with her in his office and he hasn't seen much of her since then. He doesn't know anymore if it's just coincidence or if it's her uncanny ability to elude him when he's in the emergency department. Either way he curses himself for saying anything, even for kissing her despite his resolution to give her space and not scare her off.

After a short break he heads straight into the ER. "You paged?" he asks Bonnie who's managing the desk. The corner of her lips turn up in amusement.

"Yes, Dr. Salvatore needed a consultation."

"A consultation?" he finds Stefan and joins him at the patient's bedside. He shows Damon the woman's lower abdomen that is reddened and swollen. "Hello mam, I'm Dr. Damon Salvatore," he introduces himself, shaking the woman's hand. He slips on a pair of gloves and gently lifts her fold to have a closer look at her incision.

"She's eight days post abdominoplasty. I've already sent a wound culture, labs are pending. Would you go with Vancomycin and Zosyn?"

He nods in agreement, finding himself amused by Stefan's discomfort when he notices Parker junior rushing through the double doors. "I got it!" he waves at Enzo who's on the phone, looking rather pissed off.

"Parker," he greets while already working on the patient.

"Found the guy unconscious, wife called the fire department when she couldn't get him to open the bathroom door. He was found on the floor, urinated on himself. Wife says he has a history of seizures… Hello, Doctor Salvatore." He steps aside, his expression stoic. The man has been a nuisance with his constant complaining. Despite the man's reluctance to be taken to the hospital, both Chief Mikaelson and his wife insisted that he needed to be examined. "His wife said she'd be in as soon as she could get someone to watch their disabled son."

Damon breathes a sigh of relief. For once, there's no immediate danger for the patient, despite his loud protests. Damon shares a look with Kai, then silences the man authoritatively. "You stay here Mr. Paulson. It sounds like you had a seizure. What medication do you take?"

"Dilantin and Phenobarbital."

"I'm going to order some labs, check your levels. Have you been taking them as prescribed?"

"They're expensive, doc," the man snaps, clearly angry and maybe a little embarrassed about the situation.

"I understand, sir. Pharmaceutical companies do have assistance programs. I'll have the hospital's social worker come in and talk to you about them. Lab will be here shortly. We'll know some answers once we get your test results." He quickly retreats to the nurse's desk, giving her instructions. Kai follows close behind.

"Thanks doc, Mr. Paulson was a little upset but you know the chief. He refused to apologize for breaking the bathroom door down to get him out."

"Wise decision to have him checked out," Damon nods. "Just sign the report and you can be on your way." He bites his lip to stop himself from asking about _her._

"Okay?" Kai signs the paper and looks at Damon expectantly. "Well, thanks doc, hopefully this is the last I'll see you today," he adds when silence falls between them. "I'll say hi to Elena," he throws over his shoulder on his way out.

 _Oh well, so much for fooling anyone._

* * *

"I saw the doc," Kai informs her out of nowhere.

"Awesome, it's not exactly surprising you saw a doctor in the hospital department where we spend all our time." She knows exactly which _doc_ is he talking about.

"He says hi," her partner isn't going to play the game.

"Thanks," Elena feigns indifference but the truth is, Damon's been staring quite frequently in her day and night dreams. Since they had lunch in his office she hasn't been able to shake him or the reality of what she may be giving up by staying away from men like him. He's not just any man, he's one who's capable of fulfilling her whole world, opening up new possibilities, new adventures, new everything. Because no matter how hard she tries to deny the truth of it, it's impossible.

"Are you going to give him a call or what?" she winces at Kai's unexpected question. _Are they still talking?_

"I don't have his number." The excuse is weak even in her own mind.

"Pfff…," Kai laughs. "Lame, Gilbert." He considers her for a minute, then quickly moves closer to her, his tone becoming serious. "Listen, Elena." She moves back, putting some distance between them. He raises his hands to calm her down. "As much as I'd like to be the man that makes you start living again, show you what you've been missing, I know I am not that guy. And…," he stops her protests with a gesture before she can open her mouth, he knows her too well. " _And_ …I'm happy to be part of your life in any way you allow me. But that means that I have to look out for you, just like you do for us. And if there's even the slightest chance Doctor Salvatore can make you happy, something you haven't been for a long time, I won't let you walk away from it. You _deserve_ it. No, you _owe_ it to yourself – to give him a chance. I know you, maybe a little better than you know yourself sometimes. You can't tell me that you don't feel _a thing,_ when it comes to the doc... You can try to deny it all you want but I can see it all over your face when he's nearby. You like him, Elena."

Elena's looking at him with wide eyes but nothing comes out of her mouth.

"That's what I thought," he nods, confirming his own conclusions. "Now, if you really don't know how to reach him, I'll get the number for you," he adds sarcastically.

She knows better than to argue with him and although she's aware he means well, Kai has no idea what he's talking about. This, what he pictured here, is not for her. But he did manage to open her eyes. It's not fair to Damon, letting him believe they have a fighting chance.

She has to tell him.

* * *

Today's shift is going so slow that by the time it finally ends, Damon is at wit's end. The only logical solution Damon sees is making a detour into The Grill where he can forget about his troubles with a few fine glasses of bourbon. No ambulance means no Elena and he wonders if Kai passed on his unspoken 'hi'.

He parks his car in front of his house and after changing into civilian clothes, he decides to walk to the bar. It keeps his alcohol options open, he can drink what he wants then stumble home, plant himself face first on his mattress and sleep till noon tomorrow. It's weird in a way, not all that long ago, he'd keep his options open for female company to go home with for a nice night of uncomplicated sex. People change. Or maybe, people _get changed_ , influenced by circumstances, other people, tragedies...

Walking inside, he looks around if there's anyone he knows to sit down with. Across the room he can see his baby brother in the company of nurse Alexia, seems he finally got it right. Lexi, as they call her, gives him a nod, which alerts Stefan of his presence. An awkward greeting is all the contact they make, Damon didn't come here to watch his brother's ego grow exponentially larger.

He turns to the bar, Ric is behind it, pouring him his favorite bourbon before he even slides onto the barstool.

"You look in a sour mood, brother?" Ric has always been his best buddy. And not just because he supplies him with endless amounts of alcohol. He's been his teacher, his friend, partner in crime and most importantly, he's always had his back. He never commented on Damon's flight from Mystic Falls and he didn't laugh in his face when he came home.

"You would too if you saw what I did. I don't care to watch my baby bro trying to romance anyone, let alone Lexi. She's a tough cookie, he'll have his hands full with her."

"Ah, I noticed. Do I detect a slight hint of green?"

"No way," Damon feigns a shudder. "Lexi will chew him up and spit him out whenever the urge suits her."

They both chuckle, then Ric walks away to take care of another costumer. Damon immerses himself in his glass and thoughts about a certain doe eyed brunette, which may explain why he doesn't notice who the new costumer actually is.

"Hello, Doctor Salvatore."

Damon raises his eyes and for a second, he freezes. _It may be the little similarities between the siblings._ Or just the fact that he knows _this_ man is a big part of Elena's misery.

"I'm not a doctor here, I'm a Salvatore. God knows there are plenty of us in this town."

Jeremy chuckles and turns on his chair to face him. "That may be. Still, without you... I can't thank you enough about Jess, she's our little bundle of joy."

Damon smiles a genuine smile. He has an idea how bad it must be for a parent seeing their child sick and not being able to do much to help. "Don't mention it, I was just there, it was nothing exceptional." He moves his chair fixing his eyes on the bourbon in his hand, hoping Jeremy will take a hint and leaves him alone. _No such luck._

"Doctor, I was wondering..."

"I'm warning you, Mr. Gilbert, if we talk, I'll tell you exactly what I think and you may not like it."

"This is about my sister, right? It's only fair, as you clearly know _her_ part of the story, to hear mine?" Jeremy himself has no idea why he's being so insistent.

"Why? I am no one to you, you shouldn't give a shit about my opinions."

Jeremy hesitates, he should probably let it go but for some reason, this doctor's opinion does matter. He _must_ see the reason because obviously he doesn't know everything that went down on that day. "Did she tell you that the accident that killed my parents was her fault?"

Damon slowly turns back to him. "She didn't tell me anything, I know just what everybody knows. And I do know that you weren't there to know what actually did happen."

"But I do know, doctor. She was not supposed to go the the party, mom and dad went to pick her up. She admitted it was her fault and that they were fighting. Maybe she..."

" _Maybe?_ Maybe she grabbed the wheel and turned the car to the water? Or _maybe_ she did it on purpose just out of spite? You weren't in the car, you don't know what was said. You are a father now, Mr. Gilbert, grow up." Damon catches Alaric's attention, gesturing for another drink. _Or the whole fucking bottle._

"You think I am the bad guy here? I lost all my family on that day but what do you know," Jeremy seems rather angered now.

"You insisted on this conversation," Damon shrugs, although he's losing patience. "But listen to yourself. You weren't the only one who lost parents on that day. And you deprived your sister of the last family members she has, yourself and your aunt. Friends, school, everything she knew was taken from her on that day. She had to deal with it alone, she's still dealing with it. Every. Single. Day. Guilt is eating her alive."

"Serves her right," Jeremy spits but without unabashed self-confidence he sported earlier.

"Keep telling yourself that. You have a daughter, _Jeremy,_ can you really sit there and tell me that if she made a mistake and got into trouble, which as you'd say was her fault, would you want her to be miserable for the rest of her life? Can you honestly tell me you never went to a party without permission? Never got drunk or used in your teens? And please don't tell me it's Elena's fault because that would really piss me off."

Jeremy's mouth opens but nothing comes out. Damon slams the glass down, nods at Ric and walks into the night. Now he really needs the swift march back to his apartment.

* * *

Following an alcohol fueled sleep, Damon feels surprisingly refreshed when he gets to work the next morning. The morning's been chill so he's been able to catch up on some dictation and reports. When he gets paged, he doesn't suspect anything's out of order. A consultation, maybe another patient or a problem with any of those who are already in the ER? _Or, an ambulance?_ It's Lexi at the desk and Damon smirks, recalling Stefan's uncomfortable face when he ran into them at The Grill yesterday. A chuckle escapes his mouth when he thinks about it, quite frankly, his brother is uncomfortable all the time.

"What's up?" He doesn't see any rush so whatever the reason, it's nothing life threatening.

Lexi nods to the waiting area. "You have a visitor."

Damon turns to follow her line of sight and does a double take as there's no one else but…

"Elena!" It's a surprise, a positive one... unless something is wrong? Did she somehow get wind of his conversation with her little brother yesterday? Is she here to kick his ass? He wouldn't put it past her…

She waves her fingers, the corners of her lips turn upwards and she quickly stands to meet him.

"Hey…"

"Did… something happen? Are you okay?" he asks as the silence between them lingers.

"No, sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I wasn't even sure if you would be here. I'm off work for the day, I was wondering if you perhaps have time for coffee? Or I can pick you up later?"

Damon's dumbfounded, she came all this way to ask him out for coffee? Is she… giving in? As much as he'd like to embrace the exciting feelings that are brewing, that finally she's beginning to accept what they could have, he's still sure about it, something tells him she's not quite there yet. He's probably staring at her like an idiot as she inclines her head to one side, studying his expression.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come..."

"No, no, no, it's a great idea, I want nothing more than to join you for coffee but I can't go just yet. I have two more hours, but…"

"Don't worry, doc, I'll pick you up in two hours," she interrupts, then gives him a reassuring smile and disappears through the double doors.

* * *

Two hours later Damon still can't believe she's actually waiting for him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. They leave _together_ … he likes the sound of that. When she puts a foot out to cross the street, he stops her by catching her arm lightly.

 _The unexpected touch gives a shock to her system._

"Wait, I have a proposition." Despite her jumpy reaction his fingers circle her arm to bring her closer.

Elena raises her eyebrows, playing it cool. "Yeah?"

 _If it was up to him, he'd grab her and kiss her worries away. Right in the middle of the street. She's that… kissable._

"I was thinking, it's a beautiful day, much too nice to stay inside. If you have enough time, we could stop at Starbucks and then go to the park?" For a second, he thinks he may have detected a flash of panic, but it's gone as quickly as it appeared so he's not sure if it wasn't his imagination.

"Okay then," she nods her consent and sets off down the street putting some space between them. She has to admit he's right, the weather feels like a kiss of summer without the fiery heat of noon time in August. The grass is a soft green that almost has a hint of blue and in the sky, pristine white clouds show how beautiful the sky is. It's perfect really.

25 minutes later they settle with their drinks and a couple of mouthwatering bagels with strawberry cream cheese. The bench is partly hidden in the shadows of a full-grown willow tree. It stands out from the rest of the landscape, bathed in a bright angelic light. The blue sky gives its mighty branches a fairytale-like quality as if everything surrounding it is in awe of its beauty, even the creek shushes in admiration.

It's nicely warm, the breeze is gently moving Elena's hair. Damon's mesmerized by the sight. Still his nerves are alight with adrenaline, his foot is tapping ever so lightly against the grass. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop... _This is just too good to be true..._

And suddenly, he knows what this it about. They may as well get it over with.

"Why are we here, Elena?" he asks the question that has been gnawing in his gut since he saw her in the hospital earlier today. _He feels tired._

Elena takes in the change of his mood and feels a sting in her heart.

 _She did this._

He looks at her expectantly and she has no other choice but answer him. "It's not fair to you to keep doing this. You can't just change my mind and I won't turn into a different person overnight. I can't give you what you want. You have expectations that I'm not able to meet... We must stop. _This_ must stop," she gestures between the two of them.

The silence keeps growing and Elena almost demands his response when he finally turns to look at her. "Oh, Elena... Do me a favor and stop saving me, please? I'm a grown man and I know what I want and I know the risks. I still think this thing," he uses his index finger to gesture between the two of them, "is worth it. Spending time with you, chatting with you, having coffee... I like it all. I'll _take_ all of it, if it means I get a few more moments with you. I can't fight you though and I can't do this by myself. If you really want it to end, if you're not happy spending time with me, then so be it. But don't do it because of some misguided attempt to spare me."

Elena swallows thickly but she's determined to go through with it. It's for the better. "I'm sorry, Damon, I told you..."

"Yes, you told me several times actually but it still doesn't make sense. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here. Do you want to move on, to go on with your life? Or are you trying to lock it in a box and never let it out so you can't get hurt? Is that what you're doing?"

"I'm not afraid to get hurt, okay?" Now she looks angry and Damon thinks she's even more sexy, when her eyes shoot fire, brows furrowed. _There's so much life in her_ , he can sense it but she doesn't let anyone close enough to free her from this shell she built around herself. "I just...!"

"Yeah?" he questions calmly.

"I just don't want to hurt anyone else."

The confession is hard for her, he can tell. She's breathing heavily, her lower lip trembling. He raises his hand and for a long second she leans into his touch. "I can't do this, Damon. I can't."

"Okay," he says simply, he can see how much it's hurting her.

"Just okay?" she looks up confused.

"Just okay." He uses his other hand to take her face into his palms. "You don't have to do anything, Elena. I don't have any expectations, we can just take it one day at a time. _But..._ you can't stop me from waiting for you to come to your senses and realize what you are missing," he adds with a twinkle in his eye.

Elena lets out a sound that may be a sob or laugh and shakes her head. "You're not going to give up, are you?"

"Nope, I'm going to wait you out."

She has no idea how serious he is right now.

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 _STEMI: S-T elevation Myocardial Infarction, a heart attack._

 _Anoxic brain injury is one that occurs when it's deprived of oxygen._

 _Huge thanks to all of you, you're the best of the best and reason we continue to write Damon and Elena stories. We have so many ideas, it's just hard to find the time especially when Eva's 9 hours ahead of me._

 _Lots of love and thanks to you, Eva. You're always willing to take the leap and help write these stories with me. Eva is on a short holiday but hopefully we can finish the last few scenes and post the final part of this next week._

 _Chapter title: 'Wretched and Divine' by Black Veil Brides._

 _Have a fantastic day and thank you again so very much. We'll see you next time for WTTJ 26._


	3. It's My Life

The days fly by quickly, it's been already two weeks since she told him about the decision she made. She does see Damon regularly but he's been a gentleman, respecting her boundaries, keeping his distance. She should be happy about it, _she is,_ but sometimes, _sometimes_ she can't help but wonder, what he thinks about her now? Is he over her? Is the new pretty nurse, the one she's seen him laughing with, his new _friend_? That... would be for the best, right? Isn't that what she wanted?

"Hey, Lena?" Kai finds her in the back of the fire department building.

She looks up and attempts to give him a smile. Considering his chuckle, she's not fooling him or anyone else for that matter.

"Move." He sits next to her and ruffles her hair. "Are you done fighting the fate yet?" He realizes his mistake as soon as he sees the cloud darkening her face. She's never told him about the accident that cost her parents lives but he's sure that's exactly what's at the forefront of her mind right now.

"Elena, that wasn't fate, it was a horrible accident..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she wants to get up but he doesn't let her.

"Look, you don't have to be the strong one all the time. There are others, lots of us really, who'd gladly stand side by side with you. You know you can talk to us. Just think about it, okay?"

"I know Kai. Thank you. But I kind of do, you know?... Well, I'm going to check on..." How is she supposed to end this sentence?

"Hey wait up, I almost forgot why I walked back here. There's a woman at the front door. She's waiting for you."

"Someone we know?"

"Not sure, probably a patient. I don't remember her though."

It's not unusual for people to stop by the fire station to thank them or just to say hi. Sometimes people bring them treats like cookies, good coffee. For the people that work there, it's rewarding and wonderful to know their patients made it through their worst moments and now have the chance to continue their lives.

"Thanks Kai!" she heads back inside the building.

* * *

Elena crosses the hall, looking for a lady that Kai mentioned. There are several people that she doesn't know. Two women...

 _And then her heart almost stops._

The woman isn't facing her but there's something strangely familiar... She can feel her pulse pounding in her temples, her nerves are jumping all together and in different directions. She takes a breath to try to calm down her pounding heart and carefully approaches the one with strawberry blonde hair.

 _What if it's not her...?_

"Jenna..." She doesn't recognize her own voice.

Her aunt turns to her on the spot, her eyes widen, immediately filling with tears at the site of her niece.

"Elena...," she reaches for her and takes her niece in her arms. "I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you."

There's so much to be said but neither of them is in any shape to work through their painful family history at the moment. Still, a few things need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

"Please forgive me, Elena. I know I should have kept in touch and I should have done everything I could to try to help patch things up between you and Jeremy... But he was still so angry, I was just relieved when he started to function again and…," Jenna trails off uncertain if she should finish. "And he was alright as long as _you_ didn't come up in conversation…"

Elena winces and her aunt immediately squeezes her hand comfortingly. "I never blamed you, Elena, I just thought... I hoped it'd be better if you got away from it all. You know that, right?"

Elena's unsure if she did know but instead of disputing it, she just nods and takes comfort in her aunt's soothing embrace. She stays for another hour and they promise to meet up again very soon. When she sees Jenna off, waiting for her to disappear around the corner, she can't believe this wasn't a dream, a very good one.

 _She will have to ask Kai to pinch her._

* * *

Tyler raises his hands forming a cross with his index fingers when Elena kicks the waste basket in obvious frustration. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed."

"Don't remind me." Elena frowns. She woke up late and as a consequence had to forego stopping at Starbucks for her morning Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of expresso. That counts as a bad start in her book.

"Don't bite my head off."

"Sorry, Tyler, I'll get over it. However, if you value your existence, you won't mess with me for a few more hours, unless... _you wish to die a very painful death_."

"Ah, someone's been studying Harry Potter. Again," Tyler chuckles and musses up her hair.

"Why does everyone do that?" Elena complains but it's clear her mood is already improving. Tyler would love to adopt her uncanny ability to make everyone around her feel better even when she's out of sorts and in a dour mood.

"Well, if you must know, it's because you're cute when you're mad," he grins at her. "Couldn't resist."

She sticks her tongue at him which makes him laugh even harder. "I'm going to pick up a fresh bottle of water, want one?"

"Sure. Thanks."

She goes back inside, her head full of contradictions. Lately it's been happening to her often. Ever since she saw Jenna again, for the first time in years, she feels like she's on a roller-coaster. When frustration builds, she thinks she might explode. She wants to vent, let it out, but she doesn't want to say words that might be construed as hurtful or mean. That certainly isn't her intent, it's just so easy to let something slip in a fit of anger and then the damage is done. So many times she's wanted to un-say things, take them back, especially to her parents. It's been years since she felt so disconcerted not knowing what to do with herself. And, to be honest, she suspects it has a little to do with her aunt.

She saw Damon yesterday when she escorted a soon to be mother, who suffered second and third degree burns along with an obviously fractured wrist to the hospital. She was crying silently, repeating her worries about the baby. Dr. St. John was called in to assess the fracture. Dr. Griffiths, the woman's OBGYN, reassured her the baby's going to be okay, thankfully the woman will too. Elena felt relieved however her train of thought was turned on its head when she caught a glimpse of Damon working on another patient... _Why can't she just...?_

"Elena!" Kai's running towards her. "Get your gear, we're leaving! Where's Ty?"

"What's going on? How many and Tyler's over there," she waves her hand in that direction.

"All of us," he shouts over his shoulder without slowing down. "It's big. The mall, some armed idiot has hostages. They're calling everyone in, not just our station," He disappears out of her sight and Elena starts running too, jumping into the driver's seat of the ambulance. Turning on the siren, the garage door lifts and she steps on the gas, pulling in behind one of the fire engines. Everyone's on the move.

She sighs while trying to keep up with the chaos.

This isn't going to be a good day, she can feel it.

 _Today she'll probably see Damon sooner rather than later._

* * *

The scene around the mall area is unbelievable, everywhere she looks people are standing behind barricades, their faces heavy with apprehension. Elena's breath hitches as she looks around, taking in all the people, police cars, ambulances... The air is so brittle it could snap, and if it doesn't, she might. No one speaks, what's there to say? The suspended horror that they all feel and want to end seems to be lasting an eternity as every eye is focused on the building in front of them.

"Wow," Kai comes to stand next to her, followed by Tyler and Sophie Deveraux, their new team mate.

Unease blossoms from within her when she turns her head to face him. "Yes, _wow_ is quite right," Elena can't help but agree. "Let's find out if we make ourselves useful."

"Just stay at a the safe distance, we've already heard shooting but don't know how many victims there are, if any," Sheriff Forbes tells Elena, then rushes to coordinate the SWAT team.

"It's a robbery gone bad," Elena informs them when she joins the others by the ambulances. "One person managed to get out of the jewelry store, apparently he tried to make a run for it but the perp shot him. It was a teenage boy, witnesses heard his mother crying just before the guy pulled the body... inside and locked it up," she swallows thickly.

"Oh no, this is a nightmare," Sophie looks shaken, Elena can quite relate. "How many hostages are there?"

"No one knows. Best guess has it at ten and maybe even up to twenty, given the people reported missing."

"How did you manage to pry all this information out of _the sheriff_?" Kai can't believe Sheriff Forbes would tell her so much.

"I've known her all my life. She and my mom were good friends and so were her daughter and I," Elena gives him a small smile. "Caroline and I had sleepovers regularly."

Kai shakes his head about to say something but before another sound leaves his mouth, screams fill the already heavy atmosphere. Looking around, they notice that several people are running towards the building. Elena doesn't think just reacts, quickly moving as close to the main entrance as the police will allow. The cops are clustering around what might be another body. The sheriff kneels next to them, then, much to Elena's surprise, gets up with a child in her arms.

"I need medical assistance here!" she shouts and Elena doesn't hesitate, running to meet them. Liz hands her the small girl and escorts her back to the throng of ambulances that are all waiting to assist people.

"He just opened the door and threw her out, we weren't able to see anyone but him. We still have no idea how many people are in there. The SWAT team's getting into position so hopefully we'll know more soon."

The girl looks about eight, maybe nine years old is shaking but she looks unharmed. _She's in shock._ Elena lays her on the gurney, trying to give her some reassurance.

"It's okay, you're going to be fine. What's your name? I'm Elena and this is Kai, we're here to take care of you."

The girl keeps shaking but her facial features are softer as her panic begins to recede. Sheriff Forbes is still there while Elena and Kai look her over, take her vitals and get her a bottle of water.

"We're good, Liz, she's going to be alright, you don't have to stay..."

Liz gives her a pointed look and Elena reluctantly follows, leaving the girl in Kai's capable hands.

"Elena, I need to try to get some information from her, how many people are in there, if they're hurt, anything she may know about the attacker?"

"I'm not sure Liz," Elena shakes her head skeptically. "She's so scared... If she tells us anything, I'll come for you, alright?"

The Sheriff hesitates but nods and hurries back to the building.

"Elena, meet Gia," Kai welcomes her back, Gia definitely looks less scared, seems Kai's attractive personality impacts even the younger generation. She has to smile.

"Hi Gia, we just need to make sure everything's alright with you, okay?" The little girl nods her consent and lets Elena take her blood pressure again, asking if she hurts anywhere.

"We're going to take you to the hospital now, okay?"

"No," Gia protests, "I want to wait for my mom. She's still in there!" she points at the building.

"I know, sweetie, but we would like a doctor to look over you just to be on the safe side... How many... people are in there?" Elena asks hesitantly, earning a side look from Kai. He gets what she's doing though.

"Did you get a good look, could you count them, Gia? Was it more than ten?" he tries.

Gia's brows furrow and it takes her a while to count them in her head, then nods. "I think fourteen..."

"Does the fourteen include the man with the gun?"

Gia shakes her head no vigorously. "No, there were two of them, they are fifteen and sixteen."

"There are two of them?"

"Yes. I think they're brothers," the girl adds.

"Why would you think that?" Kai wonders.

"They were fighting like brothers," Gia decides.

Elena smiles at her, although the situation is pretty scary. "Is anyone else hurt, Gia?"

"Yes...," her voice trails off, clearly she's distressed by the memory. "The salesman and the woman."

"Okay, Gia, we need to tell to Sheriff Forbes, so she can help the people inside," Elena gives her a reassuring smile and Gia nods.

"I'll go. You two stay here." Both girls watch as Kai quickly runs down the path to find the sheriff.

"Can she help the boy too?"

"What you mean?" Elena turns to look at her.

"The boy, the one who tried to run away. Those bad men hurt him and now he's lying on the floor bleeding."

 _The body..._ Elena realizes. "Gia, I don't think... I think they'll do what they can," she finishes not to scare Gia even more.

"I hope they help him. I was scared. He was making sounds but he was laying in a puddle of blood. That's when one of them grabbed me and pushed me behind the door."

It's unbelievable what the girl's saying, shocking really. Elena's mind is reeling, unable to comprehend or process the images the girl's words are conjuring up.

 _The boy was still bleeding. He may be alive._

* * *

"I don't know what we can do about that right now, Elena," Liz tells her after the girl passes on the information about the bleeding boy. "Thank you Gia for telling us though. Having an idea of the number of people inside helps me to coordinate rescue efforts so we can help get them home safely," she addresses the little girl, who refuses to part from Elena, clutching her hand. She seems to be much calmer, Elena just hopes they'll be able to reunite her with her mother safely soon.

"We have to try to get the injured people out. If he's still alive, seconds matter..." Elena knows Liz is right, they can't just rush in and put everyone in danger but standing here, knowing peoples' lives depend on how quickly they can get them to hospital is killing her. It's called trauma's *Golden Hour for a reason...

"Our hostage negotiator should be here any minute, hopefully she'll have some success with them," Liz nods, uncomfortable herself knowing there are people in desperate need of help inside the building. "You two take care of Gia, she shouldn't be here."

Elena shares looks with Kai. "I rather stay here if you need my help, Kai can take her back," Elena's quicker. Kai opens his mouth to protest but thinks better of it, they won't convince the sheriff if they argue among themselves.

Liz hesitates, then nods and hurries off to try to meet the woman when she sees her pull up in a squad car. Kai gives Elena a pointed look but doesn't say anything. He quietly suggests they should go back to the amulance so Elena can help the police, Gia reluctantly lets go of her hand and grabs for Kai's. Elena watches them leave and feels relieved that the girl seems to be alright.

It takes another half hour before Liz is back, puts down the gun and asks Elena to follow.

"He agreed to talk if we come in unarmed, a paramedic is an option, hopefully he'll let us take care of the injured for now. By the way, the two men are really brothers. The one at the door is Carlos Guerrera. He has no idea we know about his brother Benito's presence," Liz's talking to her quietly, maybe just to calm her nerves.

Despite the dire situation Elena smiles internally at Gia's keen eye. She's following the sheriff and Vanessa Monroe, her medical kit over her shoulder, half way to the entrance, then the policeman covering that spot stops her and Liz continues to move with Vanessa. The pulse is pounding in her ears and Elena has a feeling she might faint, bursts of adrenaline are keeping her senses sharp. The man next to her squeezes her arm comfortingly and for one moment she meets his eyes. They're kind. He nods and Elena only now can see the door is open and Liz is looking at her to come closer. She takes a few deep breaths and slowly starts walking.

"Mr. Guerrera agreed you can look at the injured, give them the first aid. We can't trasport them though," she informs Elena loudly in a professional voice, so the man hidden behind the door can hear.

"Stop right there," the man tells her when she's almost at the door, reaches out his hand and takes the bag from her. He briefly rummages through it before letting it fall to the ground. Then he takes a step back so Elena can walk through. Right behind the door is the boy's body. Without further hesitation Elena just sinks on her knees to examine the damage.

 _Oh God, he's still breathing._

It's shallow but it's there, his pulse is weak and thready. He's lying on his side and she can easily find the two bullet wounds on his back, blood seeping through his white shirt. The sight is bizarre, the red stains painting flowers on the white, flowing down forming bloody stems before pooling on the carpet beneath him. She does the best to stop the bleeding. Suddenly, she senses someone's watching her, the eerie sensation makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Dread creeps over her like an icy chill, numbing her brain. In this frozen state her mind offers only one thought. She's aware she shouldn't look, it's a natural inclination to want to. The feeling of being watched but gives her shivers causing goosebumps to erupt on her skin. Against her will her eyes raise and she meets the gaze of the other guy, Benito. For the longest second she can't see anything else than his wild, hateful, death stare.

It happens so fast she doesn't hear the sound. A powerful wave hits her middle and her body recoils violently sending her flying backwards next to the boy's now prone body. For some reason she gets this fixed idea, and she reaches with her hand to push the door wide open.

The following gunfire gets through to her only as a distant rumble.

* * *

Damon's day is going just right. Not too busy but the shift goes by swiftly, he's not been tempted to push the clock above the main door forward. Lately, he doesn't enjoy downtime, it only undermines his resolve to give Elena as much time as she needs to... come back. Oh, he does see her rather often, but the 'hey doc's are just not enough for him anymore. _Because he thinks of her all the time._

He's just leaving the cafeteria when he gets paged by the ED. Hopefully it will be something simple, easy to fix and in a few hours he'll be on his way to the Grill to spend some needed time with Ric and their friend from good ole Kentucky. He looks around as he enters the ER but nothing seems out of order.

"Hey," he addresses Bonnie. "You paged?"

"Yes, ambulances on the way, we need to prepare, it's big."

"Alright... any specifics? A fire?"

"No, shooting at the mall, it's all over the news, they're all running with it... So far we have four civilians en route , two critical, an officer, one of the perps. Oh, and a paramedic."

Trepidation spreads through every cell in his body at breakneck speed. It's pushing against him like an invisible gale, attempting to reverse his steps. His gut is locked up tight, nothing getting in or out. Dread sets his face like rigor mortis, his teeth locked tight together. He wants to ask Bonnie if she knows more about their injuries, particularly the paramedic, but his throat is constricted, for some incomprehensible reason he has this _insane_ thought...

He fights the urge to run and empty his stomach for twenty more seconds when all hell breaks loose.

"They're here, come on, come on!"

Everyone around him moves but Damon's already running.

* * *

Accidents and emergencies keep coming through the automatic sliding glass doors. Ambulances are lined up outside with paramedics wheeling patients in on gurneys. A child is screaming in the corridor adding to the commotion of the moment.

Damon's furiously trying to find Elena among the paramedics. He doesn't see her anywhere. As his unease grows, his chest begins to tighten and knot. It's that way with his mouth too. When he opens his lips, no sound moves past it. It's the fear of the unknown, not knowing where she is. With a heavy heart he helps the nurse triage patients. One by one they're being brought in through the double doors. He looks at them deciding quickly which can wait and which ones need immediate care. About to follow one of them into a trauma room, he looks around one more time, desperately seeking some kind of reassurance that _she's_ somewhere safe.

"Dr. Salvatore!" Kai's voice suddenly reaches him over the cacophony of noise everyone's making. "Here, please hurry!"

Damon quickly threads his way through the crowd and his heart stops when he's standing above Elena's anguished body. "Get her into trauma room five." He turns to Bonnie who's right behind him. "I need labs, type and screen 4 units of O neg, radiology and RT here stat." She nods and starts calling the different departments through her Vocera device.

As soon as Elena's in the room, the nurse cuts open her top so they can see what they're dealing with. Her blood isn't gushing in a constant flow, but in time with the beating of Elena's heart. At first it comes thick and strong, flowing through Damon's gloved fingers as he examines the ripped flesh. He feels it moving over his hands, as her skin pales rapidly, her pulses growing slower and weaker.

"She's going into shock," Cassie the nurse shouts as she hangs a bag saline, running it wide open through the IV's in both antecubital veins.

"Get that blood here stat," Damon barks, his eyes focused intently on her injury.

"Damon…" his name escapes her lips like a prayer and he squeezes his lips not to let out a groan that's forming in his throat. _She's conscious, the pain must be unbearable._

"Shhhh," he gives her a pointed look while telling Bonnie to give her a dose of Atropine and prepare for intubation. He can see by the glazed look in her eyes that she's not in full possession of her faculties but he can tell she perceives his presence. Adrenaline floods his system like an intravenous drip... He's on alert for any subtle changes into her condition. Even though he's terrified, his professionalism is the predominant emotion, knowing he has to keep his wits about him if she's going to have any chance to survive.

"What did you give her en route?" Damon turns to Kai.

"We didn't give her anything for pain, her pressure's too low plus she kept fainting and then coming out of it for a few seconds before dropping off again. We gave her 1000cc saline bolus and got here as fast as we could."

Elena feels like in a dream, one that she can't escape. She hears voices, but they all blend into the background. She should probably feel pain and she does, it throbs in her gut, warm and deep but it's dulled as well as her ability to be aware of her body.

 _Damon's here…_ She knows that for sure.

She needs to tell him, this gnawing feeling in the back of her mind, the dark place weighing down on her like a heavy blanket, it feels like…

 _Death…_

Dropping his eyes, he can see her struggling to form a word. "Elena don't try to talk, focus on my voice, focus on my face…"

Damon's urging penetrates the fog surrounding her. It surrounds her like a cocoon, her every day familiar sights lay mysterious, looming out at her in their whitened haze like images from some half forgotten dream. She must tell him now, while she still can. With her free arm, she grabs at his, "I…I...feel… death…," she manages to get out, although she's not sure he can hear her above the chatter.

He must have heard, because his response comes almost immediately. "Oh no, silly girl… Not on my watch."

She's staring at his face, so focused on saving her life while it's slowly leaving her body. She wishes she could see his eyes, not just the shadow of his long eyelashes.

 _Not a bad way to go. It_ ' _s more than she deserves._

She wishes she would have told him yes, to sharing the breakfast. In these, her last moments, she would love to have that souvenir to comfort herself with. She can feel his hands on her skin but it's like a distant memory, just echoes of reality vibrating through her faltering body. She tries valiantly to capture the feeling and turn it into something tangible but there's no strength left in her to do so. Fatigue covers her senses like a thick, woolen blanket and her eyes start to close. In the final moment he looks straight into them and she wants to give him a smile.

 _It's okay... I'm ready._

Then the darkness swallows her whole.

* * *

"We need to get her to OR stat," Damon barks and everyone in the room prepares to transport her. Dan, the respiratory therapist, grabs an ambu bag to breathe for her, Bonnie sets the defibrillator at her side so they can monitor her heart during the ride. Cassie and Lexi take hold of the IV poles to push along. They just start to push her through the double doors to get her to a surgery suite when Stefan latches onto Damon's arm, pulling him aside.

"Damon, what are you doing?" It takes a moment for him to realize that the annoying tone really belongs to his brother. _Not a good time._ They have long history of conversations that Stefan has tried his patience but this time, Elena's case, he's completely out of line.

"I'm trying to save her life, what the hell do you think I'm doing?"

"You can't do surgery on her," Stefan attempts to persuade him with his calm, reasonable tone but it only annoys Damon that much more.

"Oh really? And who else is available to do it? You? You don't even work _here._ Shush...," he waves him off like a vexing fly and starts walking along with his team to get her into surgery before it's too late. The mere thought of it is like an ice-cold hand squeezing his heart, what if he's not good enough...

"You can't operate on her, you're too personally involved," Stefan once again steps in his way. Seeing the stormy, almost lethal expression on his brother's face makes him back up.

"I'm warning you, Stefan, I have no time for this. Elena and I are not in a relationship, romantic or otherwise. Unless you can point to someone more capable of doing the surgery right here and now, step aside or I'll plant my size thirteen shoe right up your ass and you won't walk for the next week. Now get out of my way."

Fortunately for Stefan, Bonnie approaches them right at the moment. "We're ready, doctor."

Damon doesn't look back while he hurries through the double doors to scrub in and try to save her life.

* * *

It's been a grueling five hours, with a heavy heart Damon leaves the post anesthesia care unit after insuring that she's stable for now. There's nothing else he can do to assure Elena's full recovery. He's done everything humanly possible to give her a fighting chance... Now it's up to her. If he could, he wouldn't leave her side until he knows she's safely on the road to recovery but he'll be back. He needs to change and get back to the ED. Once his shift ends, he'll go to the ICU to check on her. _Hold on, Elena, they still have too much to experience, together._

Stefan's nowhere in sight, _wise decision,_ although it looks a lot like cowardice. Shaking his head, the first thing he does is pour himself a hot cup of coffee. Just as he's about to take a swallow, he turns when he hears his name.

"Hey Damon," Lexi approaches him. He eyes her suspiciously. "When you're free, after you change," her eyes nod to the blood on his scrubs, _her blood._ "Can you run over to the surgical waiting room to talk to the family?"

"Whose family?" he's not sure who she's talking about.

"Your patient, Elena Gilbert."

Knowing her family dynamics, he's still uncertain as to whether she's correct but he nods anyway and goes to make himself presentable.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later he enters the waiting area and can't believe his eyes when it really is Elena's family, at least her brother and probably her aunt, visibly startled. A bit further behind, he can see Kai and a few other guys from her fire station, all wearing troubled faces. Damon can't help but think he should be informing _them,_ her real family first.

So he does just that. They did bring her to the hospital, kept her alive long enough for him to get her into surgery.

He walks past the Gilberts, going directly to her co-workers and adresses Kai. "Hey."

Several anxious pairs of eyes meet his, Kai jumps to his feet. "Hey doc, how is she?"

"It'll be touch and go for the next few hours. The bullet tore through her belly lacerating her liver and spleen. She lost a lot of blood, we had to transfuse her with several units. There's always the possibility of infection so we'll monitor her labs closely. She's in PACU right now, from there she'll be transferred to an ICU bed. She's not out of the woods yet but she has a chance."

"Thank you," Kai looks relieved, Damon would love to share his confidence, frankly, he's terrified, anything can go wrong at this point. He didn't like the resignation in Elena's tone... He only hopes she has enough faith in herself to hold onto something and fight for it."

"Excuse me, doctor...," he didn't even notice Jeremy and the woman come up behind him. "Is she... is she going to be alright? I mean Elena Gilbert, I'm her aunt. And this is..." she turns to Jeremy. The woman is so shaken, Damon can tell it's genuine. Her brother looks rather upset as well.

"We've met," he nods. "I'm Doctor Salvatore, I can't really say for sure if she's going to survive. She just came through five hours of a very complex surgery. Right now, she's stable but whether she lives or dies, quite honestly, that's up to her."

He wants nothing more than just leave them standing there and hurry to check on her. She should be moved to intensive care soon. Stefan was partly right, he _is_ involved, but at the same time, he's confident in his ability and that there was no one else who'd fight harder for Elena's life than he would and his judgement isn't clouded. He turns to leave but Jeremy stops him after a few steps.

"Can we see her, doctor?" his previous arrogance is nowhere in sight.

"Not now and I can't promise you when that could be... Once she's in the unit, they'll have to get her settled and assess her. The nurses up there call the shots."

"I know what you're thinking, that we have no right to be here and demand anything but I have to tell her... She has to know how sorry I am. Last week Jenna went to see her. Unbeknownst to my aunt, I was readying myself to do the same thing, seek her out but..."

So, Elena got a visit from her aunt... How much else has changed for her in previous weeks that he doesn't know about?

"Hopefully, you'll have that opportunity, Mr. Gilbert."

He really wants to feel for them, but it's _fucking_ difficult to see anything other than the two people who abandoned Elena when she needed them most.

And sometimes, life just doesn't offer second chances.

* * *

The first thing she becomes aware of is a rhythmic trill that reminds her of water dripping. Slowly coming out of her drug induced slumber, her senses pick up little things, like the prongs in her nose and the way her breaths match the beeping of the machines that surround her. Without her consent her mind wanders and tries to remember what happened. She lays there quietly, keeping her eyes closed, the room's too bright to open them.

There's _so much light,_ and the constant mechanical like whirring makes her want to slump back into the darkness. Has she been asleep?

 _There was a guy with a gun..._

She almost gasps at the sudden flood of memories that rushes turbulently into her mind. It's the strangest sensation cause it's happening inside, she somehow knows her limbs are frozen, she can't move a muscle. Or... can she?

"Welcome back...," his warm deep voice delivers a jolt to her system.

 _Now she really wants to roll over and bury her face in the pillow. What if it's just a dream?_

She hears him sigh and feels his weight lift from somewhere close to her. Was he sitting on her bed? Is she... in a hospital bed?

"You can open your eyes now," he informs her while she can hear footsteps and the sound of blinds closing. She opens her eyes a crack and it doesn't hurt anymore. Focusing on his figure standing next to the window she's trying to make some sense of all this. A vast blanket of white hangs heavy in her mind. She thought she was...

"H... how…how am I...here...?"

"You were brought in style by a team of honorable escorts. We worked very hard to halt your heroic journey before it was too late."

"You're...not funny," she whispers, it's easier to talk this way.

"Oh, I am funny. And you know that." His tone is teasing, but she can hear the seriousness in his voice. _He was worried..._ Little by little she becomes aware of the biting pain that throbs in her abdomen which brings more unwelcome memories.

"I felt...," her face contorts as she can clearly recall the heavy and cold sensation.

"Death...? Yeah, you told me so... But it was... just a feeling."

 _He doesn't understand, she's felt death for a very long time._

She looks aside and for some reason her eyes are filling with tears. She doesn't want him to see them.

Damon can see her lips quivering. He knows she wants space to deal with all of this on her own. He gets up and almost leaves when a thought crosses his mind... _Does Elena always know what's good for her?_ He almost lost her, he doesn't want to ever let her out of his sight. And he'll be damned if he won't help her carry the burden.

Very carefully, he gathers her in his arms and lets her bury her face in his white coat.

 _It's the best sensation he's felt since forever._

* * *

"You've got visitors," Damon lets her know later in the afternoon on day number one, she thinks about it as such, she got another chance at life after all.

 _Not for the first time_.

"More visitors? Who is it this time?" Talking is a little less difficult, she just said goodbye to a cadre of her co-workers, Kai being first in line to barge in as soon as Damon reluctantly opened her door to _public._ She felt... better with them there. They reminded her she does have a life, one that matters. Tyler informed her that the guy who shot her in cold blood, Benito Guerrera had been shot himself by one of the SWAT team members when he refused to drop his gun.

A sense of relief flows through her... On the flip side of the coin, she also feels bad for wishing death on anyone, but his cold murderous gaze will probably haunt her for a very long time if not forever. Still, her mind rests easier knowing she won't ever have to see him again. In addition to that, she was happy to hear the news that Gia was reunited with her mother, who luckily didn't have any serious injuries.

One thing she needed to know first was if the boy, she doesn't even know his name, survived. Damon didn't reveal anything that hasn't already been reported on the news. He's in critical but stable condition although his prognosis isn't exactly optimistic. He's on life support in the ICU. The problem isn't so much the GSW itself although that caused plenty of damage, it's the fact that he lost so much blood that he fell into a coma.

To ease Elena's mind, Damon talked to the boy's mother. She was very understanding, giving him permission to talk to the young paramedic who tried to save her son. For her bravery, she was the recipient of a gunshot wound herself. The woman also told him to tell her that she would stop by to see Elena when she's up to seeing visitors. Perhaps it's her?

"Someone very eager to see you, I hope you're not too tired."

"No, I think I had enough of rest last for the foreseeable future...," she tries to joke but for Damon, it's still just gratitude that she's breathing.

 _She will never know how close she was to meeting her maker._

He nods and quickly leaves the room, afraid she'll recognize all the emotions that are mirrored on his face.

Elena presses her palm to her chest and takes a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. For whatever reason, she can't shake the feeling that something weird is going to happen, or maybe it's just her imagination playing tricks with her, an overreaction to Damon's unusual mood.

When the door opens, she turns her head and... starts to shake uncontrollably. Standing in the doorway are her aunt and her _brother_.

 _Jeremy..._

To everyone's surprise Jeremy Gilbert gives a sob and flings himself next to Elena's bed. With red eyes and a quivering chin, he clutches her hand and looks into her brown ones. He won't hide his shame from her. "I'm sorry," he croaks.

Elena wishes she could hug him and disappear in his comforting embrace, however her incision makes her grimace when she tries. Instead she settles for squeezing his hand back and tilting her head until he does the same and their foreheads touch.

No more words are needed.

* * *

Time flies, Damon goes to work everyday and even stops to spend time with her on his day off. A few times he's helped her into a wheelchair to take her outside and into the hospital gardens. They make small talk, laugh, he's even put a smile on her face but the opportunity to talk about things more significant just doesn't materialize. Before he knows it, Elena's released from the hospital. He's glad, of course, he couldn't be happier that she met and exceeded all expectations. Still he can't deny the melancholy he feels, it was nice being able to see her before starting his shift and the last thing before he'd go home after a brutal shift in the ED. He thinks they're growing closer, he senses that she feels it too but nothing was said or promised and suddenly he isn't sure if he didn't imagine it.

"Who are you thinking about? Elena perhaps?" his mom asks without interrupting her task, cutting the vegetables. Damon gets up and takes over, nodding for her to check the oven. _He's taking his time to answer her question._

"Yeah, just... going through hospital stuff in my head. I had a difficult surgery yesterday."

She smiles knowingly, he isn't fooling her. "Have you seen her? Since she left I mean?"

"Nope, I... she needs time. I suppose she's getting reacquainted with her family? The guys she works with are most likely hovering, it's probably pretty overwhelming for her, being the hero and all..."

"Maybe you could give her a ca ll?" she suggests, her eyes raising to meet his.

"I could. I will... Soon," he decides. The truth is he's talked himself out of calling her several times already. He doesn't want to scare her off. _And he kind of hoped she'd give him a ring. Mostly though, he wishes that she'd let him be there for her..._

"What are you two talking about?" Stefan uncharacteristically shows interest where normally he would just wrinkle his nose and walk away. Damon's interest is piqued, he's quite sure he wants to find out what's going on with his brother and Elena. _Not that there's anything to report on that front._

"Just... work stuff," he's not going to make it easy for Stef or let him off the hook anytime soon. He still hasn't quite forgiven him for getting in his way when Elena's life was literally hanging in the balance.

Stefan shakes his head, sensing his brother's anger and wisely decides to back off. His mother gives him a look.

"What? He pissed me off, questioning my integrity and professionalism."

She rolls her eyes but lets it go. "Alright Damon, take the plates and we can eat."

Damon follows her with a crooked smile on his lips but inside, he's worried that he may lose _her_ all over again.

* * *

She says 'bye' to the boys at the station. While it's embarrassing to have them hover, call her a hero, make jokes about her, having them cheer over her cautious movements, guarding her abdomen, it also feels so good. Their concern is genuine and the pure joy they feel that she _'made it out of that shit storm alive,"_ Kol's words, are heartfelt.

Kai brought her to the station to give everyone the opportunity to see she's alive, safe and on the mend. They all take their turns to have a few words with her, to lift her spirit and Elena lifting theirs. Now she's going to walk home to breathe in some fresh air, enjoy the freedom and a new found life, one worth living.

Since she was discharged from the hospital, she's been quite busy despite the fact that she's supposed to be convalescing and taking it easy. Not a day has passed that one of her work family hasn't stopped by to check on her, bring her a meal, a batch of cookies or just some good cheer. She's spent time with _her family_ , both Jenna and Jeremy, her brother introduced her to Anna, his soon to be wife and their little daughter, Jess. She's the cutest girl Elena has ever seen. She reminds her of little Jeremy, big brown eyes and the dark shock of hair, incredibly funny and curious.

 _She still can't believe she isn't dreaming and that Jeremy truly let her into their lives._

Her eyes start to burn, perhaps a speck of dust blown in by the light breeze..., The tears never fall. She thinks she used them all in the months following her parents' death _or she just lost the ability to shed them_. She quickens her pace to shake off the gloom slowly creeping inside of her and soon she's entering her place, locking herself away from the world outside.

It feels weird, being back home. She never spends much time here, sometimes she just goes straight to bed and leaves early in the morning. She's never put down roots in this place, yet... she feels protective of her sanctuary, having gotten used to the solitude it offers. After years of living with her relatives, having someone to look out for her all the time, it felt good to re-learn to manage life on her own terms, with her memories and thoughts. And it was a relief to drop the fear of breaking down when no one's nearby.

She never brings anyone home. She doesn't want them reading too much into her from the way it looks, like she did when she spent the night at Damon's... It's a natural inclination to make assumptions based on appearances. It's her sanctuary, she needs to keep it _free_ of the shadows that might haunt her. What if she missed them after they'd been there and could never return? What if that person left an imprint on her couch or carpet, moved her vase checking if her flowers were real or fake, touched her things and she kept seeing them there for years to come?

What is it that doesn't allow her to be happy, to let go of her worries and guilts? Why can't she embrace this new found sense of rightness? She should be ecstatic, content with the prospect of belonging somewhere... But how will she do it?

 _There is just one person that made her feel these things..._

She thought not taking him home was going to keep him in a safe distance.

 _She was wrong._

* * *

Unable to sleep, she stares at the ceiling. There's something long forgotten that keeps nudging at the corners of her mind, preventing her from getting a good night's rest. It's dark and heavy, it faintly smells like wet leaves and withered flowers. It comes from the deepest, darkest place, the one where she buried all her regrets and sorrows. She doesn't try to run from it, this time she carefully tests its edges, then closes her eyes and lets it all flood to the surface.

Guilt...

Anger...

Frustration...

Fear...

Rejection...

Abandonment...

Pain...

The emotions attached to them are overwhelming and for a second she just wants to reach for a switch to turn it all off. But the next moment they're followed by...

Grief...

Forgiveness...

Gratitude...

And...

 _Love._

They are all there, not one has disappeared. The big wet drops tracing her cheeks are real. It's like opening the flood-gates.

And then she cries... For her parents in a way she never has before. She cries for the years lost with both her brother and her aunt. She cries for the dreams buried, her own life cheated. She cries for all the lost opportunities and for never letting anyone in.

She cried so much that Damon's still able to tell by the look in her eyes when she shows up at the hospital a couple of days later. But he won't ask, the shy smile and light in her eyes tell him whatever it was she's already dealt with it in her own way. _She may tell him when she's ready._

It feels like a deja vu to see her here, in civilian clothes, waiting for his appearance after the nurse paged him to the visitors area, just like all the months ago.

"I have a proposition," she mirrors his words from the past when he slowly approaches her.

He's looking at her with a strange expression, she can't decipher what he's thinking. There is no verbal response or even a nod, however she continues as she seems to have his full attention. "I.. I'll pick you up when you're free and make you dinner… at my place? If you want to?" she adds somewhat uncertain.

For a moment, his eyes focus on someone or something over her shoulder. Once again he feels like he's in a dream, but this one, he believes is real. He doesn't want her to worry, so he quickly returns his attention to her, taking in the beauty and depth of his own feelings he only now became aware of.

"I'd like that…"

"Okay...," she seems happy, the corners of her mouth lifting as if she's surprised by his answer.

He can't get enough of looking at her, he's pretty sure he could spend the rest of his life doing just that.

She disappears through the double doors but despite the unreality of the dreamy situation he's not afraid that she won't be there later, waiting for him.

* * *

Damon is tired but adrenaline is pumping through his veins, making his heart pound in anticipation as he walks through the double doors when he finishes for the day. It's a little later than he had hoped but doctors rarely have a set schedule. He was counting the last hour when a kid was brought in after being hit by a car. The girl's in the pediatric intensive care unit but he's optimistic. Dr. Wes Maxfield is a gifted pediatric intensivist so he knows the girl will receive the best care. As soon as he's outside, he looks around, his heart plummets when he doesn't see her. Sitting down on the concrete bench, he's about to drop his head when he hears the sweetest voice.

"Rough shift?" Elena surmises judging by his slumped shoulders.

"No, just had a last minute surgery that couldn't wait. I'm glad you're here."

"I hate to impose but would you mind driving? I don't have a car," she confesses, looking unsure.

Of course, he doesn't mind, he'd drive her to the ends of the earth if she'll let him. Still he finds it a little odd. "How did you get here?" he asks stupidly.

"Well, _doc,_ there is this thing called public transportation. Perhaps you've heard of it...?" she teases and Damon's heart leaps with joy. Her playful rejoinder reminds him how much he missed the easy banter between them. "Actually Kai dropped me off a while ago. I bided my time waiting for you across the street...," she nods to _their_ café.

Damon swallows thickly at the significance of her choosing _their_ spot. Smiling and not wanting this magic to end, he extends his hand just under her elbow, lightly leading her forward. "The car's this way." His touch gives her shivers. _She knows that feeling so well._

When he parks his car in front of her house, it all feels a bit surreal. Is this really happening? Does he need to pinch himself? Is he really going to spend the evening in Elena's place? Not wanting reality to burst this beautiful bubble, he watches intently as she pulls her key out and gracefully crosses the threshold. He takes a breath and follows.

Damon's a little surprised to find that she lives in a tiny home. It looks to be about 500 square feet, still it fits her personality. Stepping inside, he looks around, to the right is a staircase leading to a loft bed. To the left is the kitchen, living room and bathroom one right after the next. As cute as the little place is, he frowns slightly when he notices the stark white walls. The windows have blinds enhanced by simple black polka dotted valances.

"It's not much but it's mine," she interrupts his musings. He nods and walks over to her bookshelf, looking at the medical books, a few novels and not much else. On the top there's a picture of her parents. He remembers Dr. Gilbert from when he was a little boy. One memory is still vivid in his mind, running away when his mother was supposed to take him for his vaccinations before he started kindergarten. There's one more of a young Elena and Jeremy and one he recognizes as Jenna.

Damon nods his thanks when she hands him a glass of ice tea. Taking a swallow, it dawns on him why the place feels unsettled, impersonal. Aside from the couple of family photos, there's a cactus plant but nothing he sees screams home. It's just a place for her to rest her head when she's not at the fire station. Elena notices his inspection but doesn't interrupt.

She can see that he's putting it together in his head. Just as she did at his place, he stands up to take a look out the window, her breath hitches when he touches the cactus, yanking his hand back when he pokes himself.

 _It's real, she needed at least some real in her life._

Damon realizes that they've been pretty silent since they entered her place. Feeling her stare, he raises his eyes to meet hers.

"I... make yourself at home while I finish dinner." _Why is she so nervous? It's Damon... and she wants this._ Without waiting for a reply, she quickly turns her attention back to the stove.

Wanting to be near her, he takes the couple steps into the kitchen. Behind is the refrigerator, washer slash dryer combo and what he suspects is a tiny pantry. He remembers thinking about what her place looked like and now... the familiarity of it is disturbing.

Her back's facing him, he hesitates for a second then closes the short distance between them and lays his hands on her shoulders. She freezes for a moment before slowly turning in his arms to look into his blue eyes. He feels he should say something, anything but the words get stuck in his throat at the sight.

 _She's so beautiful._

There's something different about her but he can't quite put his finger on it. Returning his searching gaze calmly, she gives him a small shy smile but is in no hurry to turn away from his scrutiny. Her heart is pounding as nervous energy pulsates through her but she's not scared or undecided.

 _She's ready to stop running._

"Aren't you hungry?" she tilts her head to the side. "I know you've never experienced my culinary skills but I promise you won't end up with ptomaine poisoning."

He laughs, just a little and gently kisses her forehead. "I missed you...," he admits.

She sighs contentedly and for a second lays her head on his shoulder. "I missed you too, Damon."

Nuzzling his face again her hair, he holds her for another moment to breathe her in before releasing her. She holds her ground, she doesn't want to move away from him.

"We need to talk... I know that. Let's have dinner first?"

"Of course."

He'd do cartwheels right now if there was enough room in this tiny little place. Anything to make her feel more at ease. Despite the specter of their inevitable and much needed conversation, they do enjoy dinner. Elena is indeed a good cook. She made poached salmon, bacon braised fresh string beans and a fresh tossed salad. She handed him the corkscrew and a bottle of Pinot Noir to accompany it. It's lighter red wine that's quite tasty.

In no hurry they push the dishes aside, then Elena tugs at his hand, leading him to the couch. No longer wanting to run away, she playfully pushes against his chest and he plops onto the fluffy pillows. Damon seems enchanted with this new version of _his_ Elena and she feels encouraged enough to settle on his lap, her legs wrapping around his middle.

Damon takes her in, her lovely features, the newfound warmth that radiates from her, the resolve not to let her doubts and worries get in the way anymore. He feels so honored to be the one she decided to share herself with. Because he can sense what's building between them. _Damn him if he's not going to help her in any way he can._

He gingerly brushes her face with the back of his hand. "What is it...? Whatever you need to say, I'm here to listen. And I promise we'll figure it out.. But we don't have to do this right now.. One thing at a time."

He's instantly rewarded with a small smile and the radiant gleam in her eyes tells him she has no more uncertainties. "I know, Damon... But I feel that certain things need to be said first. I know I didn't give you any reason, much less encouragement for you to hold on and stand by me in these past few months, but you did. I need you to know that I don't take that lightly. But first I want to thank you for saving my life."

Damon opens his mouth but the protest dies when she presses two fingers against his lips. "I know it's your job and that you always give a hundred and ten percent to your patients but... Kai told me how bad it really was and... just thank you."

 _Damn it Kai... of course he'd tell her that she was within a few millimeters of death. If the bullet had hit her abdominal aorta, she'd have bled out quickly and there's nothing he or anyone else could have done._

Damon would have preferred to keep that bit of information in his nightmares... _Or better yet... vanished completely._

He squeezes her hands, then brings her a little closer, circling his strong arms around her. "Okay... And I thank you for coming back to me," he says simply, murmuring the words against the soft skin of her shoulder, not trusting himself to look at her.

"Since that day... I mean the one I told you that we couldn't be together, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't stop thinking about it, about you. About _us._ And somehow I knew that I'd never be the same if I didn't figure things out before you gave up on me. Then Jenna showed up and I was so happy. Maybe that was the spark I needed because I was so happy and the more I thought about it, the more I came to believe there might be hope for me to eventually get my life into some kind of order...Even with that recognition, I still wasn't as happy as I should have been if you know what I mean. Something was missing. _You_ were missing and my first thought was, maybe that I won't be so damaged and if I work on it, maybe there would be a chance for us one day..."

Damon's heart constricts painfully. He would love her damaged, perfect, or somewhere in between but she's wrong, she was never damaged goods. She's so much stronger than she realizes. After so much tragedy at such a young age, she found the courage to pull herself out of the depths and start to build a life for herself. She did all of that without believing she would ever be part of a family again. _And a very long time before she met him._ She just didn't realize how brave and determined she was. He wants to tell her, to comfort her, help her get it off her chest but he knows she needs to stumble through the hard part on her own. His thumb's stroking her palm and he lifts it to his lips to kiss the base of hers. Her eyes light up for a second before she becomes serious again and continues.

"On that day... I was dying, all the way to the hospital, the pain wouldn't let me slip into a blissful repose. Honestly I thought that was where my story was going to end... I didn't think I had a chance... I was just trying to hold on, stay conscious until I got to the hospital... I didn't even know if you'd be there, I just...," she looks at him helplessly willing for him to understand.

He swallows thickly, tightening his hold on her. "Elena, I..."

"By some miracle, I was given another chance, _you_ were my miracle... You gave me that and I realized that I didn't want to lose even one more day, I want to embrace life. I don't want to do it alone anymore, I want to be with you... I mean, I'm all in... if you still want me?"

Dumbfounded, he stares at her for several moments. "Could you just...," he takes a deep breath to rein in his own emotions, he doesn't want to feel like an awkward teenager, "repeat the part...?"

"Which one?" she asks, palming his cheek.

"You know."

Despite the seriousness of the moment, the corners of her mouth lift. She knows exactly what he wants to hear.

 _God he loves this woman._

"I am, Damon. I'm sorry if I didn't..."

Whatever she was going to say is interrupted by Damon's mouth on hers. She closers her eyes and breathes him in, all the while trying to keep up with the pace he sets. It's been way too long since she drank from his passion, felt his muscles ripple under fingers, tasted the uniquely Damon flavor as her mouth moves with his. She almost starts crying when she realizes how careful he's still being with her, how considerate he is of her condition. While his embrace is tight and solid, it's still gentle and caring.

"I love you so much...," she breathes out and it's his turn to almost lose it.

"And you have no idea how much I love you," he manages to get out.

The confession is not smooth or graceful but it couldn't be more genuine. He rests his forehead against hers as he tries to regain some semblance of control. He would like nothing more than to make love to her all night but it'll have to wait till she's in no danger of getting hurt. Her body isn't healed enough for the kind of workout he wants to give her.

"I should go...," he whispers although it's the last thing he wants to do.

"Do you have to?" she looks at him inquiringly.

"I don't want to," he admits. "But..."

"Then don't. I meant every word, Damon. I... I want you here. I know I can't offer you much at the moment, but..."

"Don't you even dare to say things like that." He shifts a little till he's on his back and carefully takes her with him. "You're offering me the world..."

* * *

"We have an MVA, multiple injuries including a traumatic arm amputation. They have the limb on ice, they're bringing it along. ETA five minutes," Bonnie informs Damon.

"Get Dr. Emily Bennett, she's the best vascular surgeon around. We'll need ortho too, page Dr. St. John." Damon hurries to the ambulance bay just they're pulling in. For a moment, he allows himself to give a thought to his lovely girl, is she going to be the one transporting the patient and... there she is. The back doors fly open and Elena jumps out, holding two IV bags as they hurry the first victim to the trauma room. Kai follows behind with the iced limb.

Damon barks out orders while using the laryngoscope to intubate the man. Elena informs him what they know about the patient's injuries while he finishes up, letting RT take over to hook the patient to a ventilator. Next he takes the central line kit that Lexi hands him and inserts a central venous catheter into his right internal jugular. Bonnie hangs two units of o neg blood with the rapid infuser. As soon as Dr. Bennett shows up, they work as a team to move the patient to the surgery department.

"I'll see you at home Mrs. Salvatore," Damon adds, winking at Elena over his shoulder as he hurries after his patient.

Elena smiles and walks alongside Kai back to their ambulance. "What are you thinking?" he asks, noticing the amused look on her face.

"I'm happy, Kai, deliriously so."

* * *

Several hours of surgery later, Damon can finally hop into the shower and change into his street clothes. He then hurries to the second floor day care. It's his favorite part of the day. Those three days a week when Elena's at work, he gets to be a full time daddy and have their 20 month old son to himself. The best situation of course is when he doesn't have to work but when they're both scheduled, he drops him off at the hospital day care. That way he can pop in to see him whenever he has a free moment.

He's such a happy child, always smiling, brimming with energy and mischief and his daddy is madly in love with him.

"He must have known you were on the way, Doctor Salvatore, he already put his toys away and started readying himself to leave," Ruby, the daycare worker greets him with a smile. Damon's watching his son toddle to him, half dressed and with his teddy bear under his arm. _He's never without his Teddy._

Ten minutes later, he's securing the boy in his car seat, trying to pry his curious little fingers off of the belt and buckles.

"Thomas Grayson Salvatore! I know you're getting to be a big boy but I need make sure you're secured safely, okay? If you're not in your seat, the policeman could stop the car and put me in jail."

The little fella looks up at his daddy, his face very serious. "Me do!"

"Sure you will," Damon mutters. "I'll do it and you can check to see if daddy did it right, okay?"

Tom, as they usually call him, lets go and watches what daddy's doing intently. _Damon's sure the next time he will lock the buckles all by himself._

Once he makes sure Tom is secure, he pushes the car door shut and slips behind the wheel. "Now, what are we going to do, Tommy boy? We can go home and have some soup, then you can have a nap or we can stop..."

"I want mommy. We go?"

Damon eyes him in the rear view mirror. "Mommy's still at work. She'll be home later." His big brown eyes and the pronounced pout are his undoing. Elena does the exact same thing. _And it always works._

"We'll see mommy after while, trust me, little man, I want to see her too. So, we can stop at grandma's if you want? She'll certainly have something to satisfy your sweet tooth."

Tom kicks his little legs and the pout miraculously disappears. Damon takes that as a _yes,_ that he's on board with daddy's plan. Arriving at the boarding house twenty minutes later, he looks in the mirror again to see his boy's already _working_ on his seatbelt. Luckily it's still quite a puzzle for him which is a relief for both his parents.

"Okay little monkey, we're here," he puts him on the ground and before he has time to shut the car door, Tom is already running into his grandma's arms.

"I'm so glad you stopped by!" she picks her grandson up and embraces Damon for a moment. "Just in time to have a taste of apple pie. I tried a new recipe."

"We know the right time to come, isn't that so Tom?" he happily follows his mother into the house.

Since Elena came into his life, his relationship with his family has changed for the better. His mother very much enjoys being a grandma, Stefan hates the fact that Damon has beaten him at fatherhood and his dad... well...

"Ah, it's you," Giuseppe looks at him puzzled, he still can't quite grasp the fact that Damon doesn't give a shit about his opinions about him or his career. And now...

"Look Tommy, grandpa is here too..."

His son is very cooperative, jumping out of grandma's arms and running straight to Giuseppe. After throwing his little arms around the older man's neck, he plants a wet kiss on his cheek. Damon can hardly hide his amusement at his dad's obvious unease. Tommy on the other hand happily makes himself comfortable on his papa's lap and takes a big bite of his pie. Giuseppe raises an eyebrow but when he sees his wife's stare, he chuckles.

"A glass of milk, Tommy?" Lily asks.

"Of course, he needs to be a big strong guy, right, Tommy?" Giuseppe, to Damon's surprise, shakes off the mixed feelings and plays his role. _What Elena didn't do for his family, their boy certainly did._

 _Unbelievable how everything worked out,_ Damon thinks a couple hours later when they're about to leave. Tommy's waving his hand wildly , screaming goodbye to his grandparents, while Damon's fighting the urge to cover his ears. He quickly backs out of the driveway and when the boarding house is out of sight, Tom finally calms down.

 _Where to next?_

Elena won't be home for a few hours yet and Damon can just imagine their grumpy baby boy when his mama isn't there when they arrive. On impulse, he turns on the street that leads to the Gilbert house.

"Uncle 'Jermy!" Tommy squeals when he recognizes the house. Damon smiles and parks the car again.

"Hey pal," he greets his brother in law when Jeremy comes out of the house. They have become buddies over the last couple years. Damon appreciates the fact that Jeremy has never stopped trying to make up for his long absence in his sister's life since their reconciliation. Curiously enough, it helped him to patch things up with his own brother. Seeing the Gilbert siblings example, he and Stefan made an effort to be nicer to each other. Both being doctors, they still have their moments of disagreement but they try not to stay angry at each other for too long.

"Hey," Jeremy greets both the Salvatore boys with a wide smile. Seeing Tommy now hanging on Jer's arm, Damon thinks his son looks like a mini Gilbert, resembling both his mom and his uncle. He doesn't mind at all.

"We're on our way home, just thought we'd drop by to give you a dose of baby boy vibes," he grins. Jeremy and his wife already have two girls and Damon cannot resist teasing him.

"Don't boast too much," Jeremy laughs, "we're already working on it."

"You can put that in the not what I need to know file," Damon quirks an eyebrow at him.

They stay for an hour, the adults enjoying a lite beer, the little ones getting Kool Aide that Anna's girls love. When it's time to go, Damon reminds them of the family picnic they're planning for the next weekend. Tommy's yawning when Damon fastens him in his car seat. Hopefully they'll make it home before he falls asleep. _Elena won't be happy is he messed up his sleep schedule._

Soon enough their house comes into view and Damon pulls into the driveway. They decided to buy one just a few months after they started dating. Rather than sell Elena's tiny home, they bought a small parcel of land near Dunham Lake. It was easy to have it moved and now they use it as a weekend cabin. His apartment was also too small for the two of them. When the news came that soon there'd be three in the family, they intensified their search and were lucky enough to find their own little piece of heaven.

It's a three story Victorian home sitting on a large corner lot. The house was built in 1890 and as Jenna described it, it's much like a dollhouse with trim and tilted roofs. It has ground and second floor decks, tall narrow windows, steeply pitched gables and decorative cornices. The upper floor has a tower with a conical roof and an elaborate dormer. It was love at first sight.

Because it needed work, they got it for a good price. Together with their friends and family's help, they made it into their home. Christmas was especially magical because they decorated the pine trees in the front yard as well as the house itself. It looked like it would be perfectly at home in a Norman Rockwell painting.

The big stone fireplace was one of the selling points. On the richly carved mantel stands an exquisite plate-glass clock. Keeping it company to right and left, are two dainty figures of a bride and groom in bone china. The remaining mantel space is filled with tiny figures in bisque, an elephant family, a zebra one, a cat and kittens a heart-shaped porcelain box, the top covered with forget-me-nots with holds a lock of Tommy's hair, a silver drinking-cup with his name engraved and an oval portrait of him, framed in richly chased gold, the inner rim set with seed pearls.

They found the exquisite frame at an antique shop in Charleston when Damon attended an emergency physicians conference. They love curling up on their comfortable old couch with a wood-fire blazing cheerily in the ample fireplace, spreading warmth and flashing red-orange reflections in the room. Thick logs crackle and pop as the bright flame slowly eats them away. Its glowing embers leap and twirl in a fiery dance, twinkling like stars in the hot swirling air before cascading down like gleeful firery fiends.

Damon has his man cave while Elena has a room for her scrapbooking. It's a hobby she picked up after Tommy was born so he can have a keepsake when he's quite grown up. Sometimes Jenna and Anna come over to help as they also made one for each of Jeremy's daughters. Kai, Kol and some of her other friends from the fire station are frequent guests in their home too.

When Damon pulls into the garage next to Elena's car, he looks over his shoulder at Tommy and sighs, he did indeed fall asleep. He gets out carefully, unbuckles the safety straps and carries him inside.

"Where did you two go? I was more than a bit surprised to beat you home..." Elena greets him with a smile that immediately vanishes when her eyes land on Tommy. Quirking an eyebrow, she lowers her voice. "Seems you guys had a busy afternoon."

Damon grins, he's simply delighted to see her. She isn't angry, he can tell by the playfulness in her eyes. Whispering he tells her about their day while carrying the sleeping boy to his room. Elena takes it from there and carefully changes his pull up, puts on his pajamas and tucks him under the covers. He's so beautiful, angelic even, she fights the urge to snuggle with him for a few minutes but doesn't want to wake him.

By the time she reaches their bedroom, Damon's already in the shower. She's tired this evening but not so much that she won't wait for him. After slipping into her nightgown, she stretches out on their king-sized sleigh bed and looks around. The room has two big windows with seats, a captain's window above and between them. She loves making herself comfortable with pillows and Tommy on her lap while she reads to him. In more solitary moments, she simply loves staring outside on rainy and snowy days.

The room has a floral wallpaper pattern and a carpet that closely matches the colors. They had a carpenter friend enlarge the bathroom as Damon wanted a whirlpool tub that was big enough for the two of them. Tommy's pictures are on the dresser as well as her parents. Just as her mind starts to drift, she hears him.

"You have no idea how much we missed you," Damon's warm deep voice disturbs her musings.

"And I missed you," she turns to him, inviting him to join her with a come hither motion of her index finger.

Damon doesn't hesitate and dives under the covers, quickly taking her into his arms. "Well our boy's sleeping, we should make sure we're not going to be missed for awhile...?" he murmurs seductively in her ear. He's rewarded with a radiant smile and next he feels her lips on his. First it's light touches and their hot mixed breaths, then the kisses get deeper and their breathing becomes more difficult.

"We should slow down..."

"Why?" Damon wonders, burying his mouth against her throat. Coming up for air, he quips huskily, "We have all night for a round and then another and another..."

"We should make sure he's sound asleep."

"Elena, we can never be sure if he'll stay asleep. He wakes up at the most impossible moments whether we've checked on him or not."

"True," she silently chuckles and catches his lips in another _steamy_ kiss. As soon as his hand slips under her gown and settles on her breast...

"Mommy? Mommy?" Tommy's sleepy voice gets closer and they barely manage to put some space between their bodies when he storms into the room.

"Sweetie..." she reaches for him and pulls him onto the bed. His eyes are already drifting closed and his parents' eyes meet over his tiny form.

 _They grin._

What's one more night with their bundle of energy blocking their _extracurricular activities?_ But they don't mind. _They'll find time later_.

For now, they snuggle together in bed, all three of them, and dream of how to make more days as special as this one.

 _The end._

* * *

 _*In emergency medicine, the golden hour refers to a time period lasting for one hour, or less, following traumatic injury being sustained by a casualty or medical emergency, during which there is the highest likelihood that prompt medical treatment will prevent death._

* * *

 _Massive thanks to all of you. You're the motivation that keeps us excited to write more._

 _Lots of love and thanks to you, Eva. You're always willing to take the leap and help write these stories with me._

 _The Guerrera brothers courtesy of "The Originals"._

 _Chapter title: 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi._

 _And Charlotte, we hope you enjoyed your birthday present._

 _Have a fantastic day and thank you again so very much. We'll see you next time for WTTJ 29._


End file.
